


Lost

by PeskiPixi



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Crossover, D/s, Dom!Loki, F/M, Fluff, Loki Feels, M/F, Marvel - Freeform, Mutants, NSFW, PWP, Smut, X-men - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-03 07:49:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 40,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5282675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeskiPixi/pseuds/PeskiPixi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>OFC Joanne discovers a mysterious stranger that is in need of her help, and takes him home to look after him. But who is this beautiful black-haired angel? Where did he come from, and why did he materialise in her life and turned her world upside down?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this is daunting for me. It’s my very first intentional multi-chapter fic, and quite close to my heart. It’s daunting because I have no idea where it’s going, how it’s going to end… I hope everyone enjoys it. Pretty please leave kudos and comments, I’m serious, I’m insecure and I need validation. :P Usual English-is-my-second-language disclaimer apply. Lastly, I’m posting because a good friend (you know who you are) insisted that it’s good enough for people to read. Thanks babes!

Jo is pissed off. Not irritated or annoyed, seriously pissed off. As she strides through the frigid London streets, she thinks that if this was the first or second time, she might have reacted differently. But so many times. Ditched. Feeling like an idiot for falling for it again. Never again, she is done, so fucking far past done with Helen’s skanky ass. So done. Yes, she is her best friend. Yes, she is mostly trustworthy, a confidant, someone Jo can always rely on. But a nice pair of biceps crosses the horizon, and all bets are off. Jo huffed out an annoyed breath and quickened her pace, attempting to walk off her temper.

Jo had eventually given in to Helen’s relentless nagging to go and have a girls’ night. She had even dressed up, wearing a simple black mini dress, stockings and heels, and agreed to meet Helen at the local pub, where they planned to begin an epic pub crawl through the streets of London. Like an idiot, Jo had pitched up at 8:00 as agreed, and at 22:15, after Helen had eventually responded to her texts and calls, apologising profusely, Jo had left, making the short walk back to her apartment. Unavoidable, couldn’t call, blah-blah, it ran through Jo’s head, making her angrier by the second. Whatever. She’ll just go back to her cosy warm (if empty) apartment, and get under the covers to binge-watch Netflix and eat ice cream.

Still fuming, Jo trudged along, her arms wrapped tightly around her body in the cold air, when what sounded like a low moan shook her out of her whirlpool of recriminations and potential arguments with her best friend. Unconsciously, her steps slowed, and she came to a stop at an ominous-looking alleyway to her left. She listened intently, hardly breathing, but ready to make a run for it. A slow drip-drip down the alley was all she heard, except for the far-off traffic on the nearby highway. The sound came again, definitely human, probably male, and definitely in pain. Should she investigate?

Jo hovered near the entrance of the alley, debating whether it was a good idea to enter the gloomy alley. This was thriller movie stuff. You don’t go into an alleyway that looks like this one if you’re female and alone at night, you’ll get your ass chased and killed. Jo was by no means helpless, she could take care of herself, but she was also not stupid. A painful sounding cough made up her mind.

“Hello?” Silence greeted her. “ Are you okay?”

More silence, followed by barely audible rustling.

“Can I help you? Do you need an ambulance?”

A new, drawn-out groan, with some mumbled words. By now Jo was practically in the alley, having stepped closer to try and hear better. She inched still closer, holding her breath, trying to make out what was in front of her. A ways in, there was a shadowy human-sized lump, which seemed to be moving. Putting one foot in front of the other silently and slowly, Jo went closer, ready to bolt if she needed to, her nerve-endings at full attention.

“Sir? Are you hurt?”

The form rolled over with another drawn out moan, an arm flopping onto the slimy alley cobbles.

“Where…?” a gravelly voice said, but started coughing immediately again.

The sound of the hacking cough finally galvanized Jo into action, and she rushed forward, kneeling on the dirty cobbles and taking the man’s wrist in hers, all thoughts of her personal safety shoved to the background. His skin was ice cold and clammy, and from what she could see by the light, white like marble. She put her hand gently on his cheek, and turned his head to her to see his face. His eyes were closed, and he was breathing shallowly. She quickly glanced down the long slim body, and saw that he was barefoot, dressed in what looked like some sort of tattered leather pants and a black cotton shirt with strange fastenings down the front. Her eyes went back up to his face, while in her head she was trying to decide what to do.

For a few seconds, she watched the face in front of her. He reminded her of a statue, so white, so still, the angular planes of his face turned to monochromatic stone by the street light seeping into the alley. Long dark hair lay dishevelled around his face. Without warning, his eyes snapped open, and Jo jerked back with a small gasp. Lightning fast, he twisted his wrist from her grip, and grabbed hers in the same movement, holding on with more strength than she would’ve thought possible. His eyes, though slightly bloodshot, was a mesmerizing shade of emerald green, and was staring at her face with an intensity that made her heart flutter in her chest.

“Where…. Am… I?”

The words were grated out with great difficulty, but with an authority that left no room for bargaining.

“You are in London, sir, and you seem to be hurt. Can I call you an ambulance, or a relative, a friend?”

The man suddenly started breathing faster, and his eyes darted away, scanning the shadows around them. His breathing increased, the breaths coming faster and faster. He was still searching, looking for something, some danger or threat, she had the impression. His eyes came back to her face, and she was surprised to see a look of pure terror there, replacing the cold authority of moments ago.

“Please, take me away from here. Please, please, take me away, I can’t…. “

His grip on her wrist was tight and desperate, and his voice small. He reminded her of a frightened little boy. His eyes took turns looking at her pleadingly and darting around the alley, his breathing still fast and anxious. Jo debated with herself for a moment, but then decided that she had no choice, she needs him to cooperate, she was going to have to do something. Her eyes softened as she turned it on and looked into his wide eyes, managing the effect carefully.

“Okay, but you need to calm down, okay? I’m going to help you, but you need to listen to me. Calm. Down. Okay?”

He made a visible effort to slow his breathing, and kept his eyes on her face, as if she was his anchor to reality. He looked into her eyes, and his hand slackened on her wrist. His breathing slowly returned to normal, and his mouth relaxed, opening slightly as he stared into her eyes. His own emerald eyes turned soft and slightly distant, and the lines of anxiety relaxed into an expression of wonder, his eyebrows rising slightly as he looked at her. His tongue darted out to wet his lips as he continued to stare into her eyes.

Deciding that it was enough, Jo looked away, closing her eyes for a second, and then turning her face back to him. He was still watching her like a man starving, as if he wanted to drink in every feature of her face and keep it in his heart. It’s time for action, she thought.

“Come-on, up you get. I’m taking you home.”

The words left her mouth without bypassing her brain first, and she stopped, realising that maybe this wasn’t a good idea. Her flat was close, literally three doors down, and she had to get him out of the cold as soon as possible, but this was a strange man she found in an alley. She knew nothing about him, for all she knew he could be a rapist, a murderer, a shoe salesman. But she also knew he was in trouble, he was scared and cold, and she couldn’t leave him there. At her words, his startling eyes lit up, and a smile pulled at the corners of his mouth.

“Please.” He said simply, moving to get up, grunting with effort. 

With combined effort, they got him on his feet, and Jo draped his arm around her shoulders, taking his weight. He was tall, and even slumped on her he towered above her. Gingerly, they moved towards the mouth of the alleyway, shuffling along like two geriatrics. Eventually, they found a rhythm, and he seemed to be able to move better, putting more effort in and lifting some of his weight off her.

A few minutes later, they arrived at her door. Jo extracted her keys from her clutch bag with some difficulty and inserted it into the lock. The door swung open, and they hobbled inside awkwardly, Jo closing the door behind them. Well, if he’s going to murder me, there’s no going back now, she thought, as she led him towards the bathroom, intending to shove him in the shower first to warm him up.

How do I get myself into situations like these? She mused. This is going to be interesting.


	2. Chapter 2

Jo half dragged, half frog-marched the man to the bathroom, concentrating hard on keeping them both upright. He was stumbling along, muttering and groaning under his breath. Her hands were on his arms, steering him from behind, and the cold of his skin seeped into her fingers. With some difficulty, she maneuvered him down the hallway, encouraging him all the way with random quiet phrases. Finally the bathroom door was in sight, and Jo steered towards it, the man ricocheting off the door jamb and muttering a disjointed apology.

Getting inside the bathroom, she unceremoniously sat him down on the closed toilet, and turned to turn on the water in the shower. She turned back to the strange semi-conscious person that materialised into her life out of nowhere, and stared at him for a few seconds, as he sat on the toilet with his head hanging and his arms at his sides. He looked bedraggled, his long black hair hanging in damp strands over his face. He was shivering slightly, but had fallen silent, not muttering under his breath anymore. Her eyes slid down to the tattered clothes that covered his body.

Shit.

She had just realised that he was probably going to need help. He is going to have to get out of those strange damp rags and into something warm. And he’ll probably not be able to stay upright in the shower. Jo briefly pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes, abruptly feeling bone tired and overwhelmed. What is she going to do? She wasn’t even a Good Samaritan at heart, in her opinion. She tended to look after herself. Yet, here she was with a strange man in her bathroom, one that she’s probably going to have to undress. A man that is clearly not posing a danger to her at the moment, but what happens when he recovers? What does she do with him once she’s rescued him and made him feel better? What then? Does she send him on his way, pleasantly waving from her front door as he walked off into the sunset? Somehow Jo couldn’t picture it.

Dragging her hands down her face and rubbing them up the back of her neck, Jo thought O well, and got to it. Live in the moment. Do the task directly in front of you, then move on to the next. I mean, how hard could it be? She moved towards the man, absently thinking that she doesn’t even know his name yet, and sprang into action.

“Come on, let’s get you in that shower. Lift your arms…. Lift!”

After a moment, he seemed to understand and shifted his weight. Like an obedient child the arms came up, and Jo stripped the sodden shirt off his torso, discarding it to lie in a soggy heap on the floor. She steeled herself for the next step.

“Get up. Up! Come on you. Up!”

Reluctantly, he seemed to get the message, and pushed up with his legs, holding on to her. As soon as she was sure he wouldn’t topple over and was standing relatively steadily, his hands on her shoulders, she wormed her hands in between them, starting on the string fastenings of his pants. Who wears pants that fastened with strings? Is he some kind of weird cosplayer, she thought to herself. She closed her eyes and concentrated on undoing the thongs by feel, repeating like a mantra in her head… I will not look… I will not look… I will not look…

Finally, with some difficulty, the pants were off, and she steered him towards the shower, turning her face away, trying not to look. His eyes were open now, but slightly glassy, and he was shivering from head to toe. Jo finally got him in the shower and turned up the hot water. He came to rest leaning against the far wall, arms raised above his head, forearms and hands flat against the wall, his very long legs braced slightly apart.

Despite herself, Jo found her eyes wandering to the figure in the shower. Truth be told, she was totally convinced that it would have been absolutely impossible for anyone, male or female, not to stare. Warm steaming water cascaded onto the bowed dark head, plastering his long hair to his shoulders. His raised arms were long and leanly muscled, ending in large, elegant, competent looking hands. Sparse black hairs sprinkled along his forearms. His shoulders were broad and defined, and tapered down to a slim waist and narrow hips, beautifully sculpted buttocks and legs that went on for miles. Runner’s legs. His skin was marble white and smooth over his lean frame, and Jo supressed a sudden and violent urge to touch him. She shook her head, trying to rid herself of the sudden compulsion.

He stood absolutely still for minutes, not moving, except for the steady rise and fall of his breathing. Then, he slowly lifted his head, turning his face towards the spray of the hot water, the muscles in his neck and shoulders rippling. Jo was transfixed. She didn’t think she could move or tear away her eyes even if she tried. In the harsh fluorescent light of her bathroom, he was stunningly beautiful. From the classic features of his face to the long graceful body, he was an exquisitely striking creature. He moved his arms then, standing upright, wiping the water from his face and slicking back his dark hair. In the same movement, he turned, obviously more steady on his feet, and opened his eyes to look directly at Jo, catching her staring. Jo could instantly feel the hot blush creeping up her neck as blood rushed to her cheeks.

His head was slightly lowered and he stared at her from beneath his brow, his green eyes penetrating. Jo felt her breath hitch in her throat, and her heartbeat speeding up to a thundering crescendo in her chest. She stared back, heat turning her cheeks pink, her eyes wide. Suddenly, he dropped his gaze, and she imagined a slight quirk at the corner of his lips.

“Thank you. For bringing me here, for assisting me in my hour of need. I am grateful.”

His voice sounded rusty, stilted, as if he hadn’t used it in an unimaginably long time. It was the first true sensible sentence he has spoken to her. His accent was hard to place, almost British, but archaic and formal. Jo shivered, a nameless frisson going down her spine.

“You’re welcome. It’s the least I could do.” She tried to smile.

Jo was still trying and failing to avert her eyes, her guest was still standing under the hot water, facing her with his hands planted in his sides, his feet slightly spread, unabashedly naked. Her eyes roved down his body, taking in the broad chest sprinkled with dark hair, wandering down the taught stomach and… Oh! Her eyes widened and the blush on her cheeks deepened before she finally managed to tear her gaze away from him, turning her back and busying herself with some imaginary task concerning the bottles on her vanity. With her back to him, she felt like she could almost think like a human being again.

She heard the taps turn off, and grabbed two folded towels, reversing towards the shower blindly, hand extended backwards. She was not about to turn around and risk losing her brain function again. She felt the towels being taken out of her hand, and heard what might have been a rusty chuckle and a muttered thank you. With that done, Jo retreated hastily toward the vanity again, still keeping her eyes averted. 

“So, uhmm… Who are you? What’s your name?” She asked, not looking around.

Silence greeted her question. She waited, wanting to give him time, the poor man is not in top physical form, and probably traumatized as well, taking into account the condition she found him in. The silence dragged on, plucking at her resolve, stretching out like a rubber band, sharp and greedy to be filled. Maybe he didn’t hear her. Or he was busy drying himself off. Finally, Jo turned back to him, taking a deep, shaky breath. He was in the same position with a towel hanging loosely from his hipbones, but it was his face, his expression that made Jo stop breathing for a second. His eyes were wide and haunted, his mouth slightly open, his whole face speaking of hurt and loss and confusion. He opened his mouth and his eyebrows pointed up in dismay. His eyes locked onto hers, beseeching.

“I … I do not know.”


	3. Chapter 3

Jo stood frozen; the implication of the words that just came out of his mouth hit her immediately and hard. She felt ice cold and winded, as if she’d been hit in the solar plexus. He doesn’t know who he is. The thought terrified her. What was she going to do now? Thoughts raced through her head at a disorientating speed, sending her into a near panic almost immediately. Slowly, she came back to the present, concentrating hard to breathe deeply and calm down. Panicking is not going to solve anything or change the situation. She took a few more breaths, closing her eyes tightly. Feeling more in control, she opened her eyes again and looked at the barely covered man in her shower. He was still looking at her as if she was his only hope, his lifeline, which in a way, she was, she supposed. He was starting to shiver again, and she wasn’t sure whether it was from the cold or from something else.

“Let’s first get you warm,” she said, “then we can figure out the rest.”

The change in him was instant and almost miraculous. He grinned. It wasn’t the half smirk she had seen earlier, this was a full-blown toothy, crinkly-eyed grin, coupled with a look of tremendous relief and gratefulness. It lit up his whole face like a morning sun, and the change made Jo gasp. He was a very good looking man, she had noticed. Boy, had she noticed. But that smile was enough to take her breath away. She was pretty sure it should be illegal, or licenced as a lethal weapon. That smile transformed his face from a beautifully sculpted work of art to a life-changing brain-scrambling sunrise that would leave ghost images on your eyes if you weren’t careful. 

Once again Jo found herself having to tear her eyes away. She turned away, speaking over her shoulder.

“I’ll just see if I can find you something to wear. I’ll be right back.”

With that, she fled to the spare room, grateful to be able to leave the bathroom and find some semblance of calm and normality. She rummaged through the closet, hoping to find something big enough and hopefully male for her guest to wear. She was pretty sure there were some sweatpants and an old hoodie somewhere, left behind by her ex months ago. She breathed a silent thanks as she found the clothes she was looking for, plus an old t-shirt with a faded kangaroo on the front as a bonus. As she made her way back down the hall to the bathroom, she steeled herself for the nakedness. It’s been months since she has had to deal with naked male skin on this magnitude, and she was having a bit of trouble with it. Pausing slightly at the door, she knocked softly. There was a muffled reply, and Jo pushed open the door and entered.

“Here you go, I hope it fits. Well, you don’t really have a choice, it’s all I have, and you need to put some clothes on. We don’t want you to catch a cold or something, this time of the year there’s always something going around, and standing around naked for hours will definitely make you sick. I know it will make me sick, I’ve got the immune system of a new-born baby…” She slowly trailed off when she realised that she was rambling like an idiot. She had a bad habit of doing that when she got nervous, and she definitely was nervous now.

Somewhere during her verbal diarrhoea, she had handed the little bundle of clothes to the stranger, and when she finally shut her mouth with an audible snap, she saw that he was staring at her quizzically, his head turned slightly to one side, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Despite the smile, and the clearly amused look on his face, the weariness painted dark circles under his eyes, and his shoulders slumped as he stood leaning against the vanity. He dropped his gaze to the clothes in his hands, and for a moment looked non-plussed as to what to do with it.

“Well, I guess I’ll…. Leave you to it then…” Jo got the words out and fled from the bathroom again, closing the door behind her and leaning against the wall.

What was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she function like a normal human being? She wasn’t even a normal human being to be honest, but still… Jo decided that she really needed to get it together, get this man on his way, although she didn’t know how yet, and return to her normal, boring low profile existence. It suited her, not being noticed, not having to deal with drama or emotional stuff, not having any attachments, except one or two. And clearly, this man had some kind of influence on her. And that is not a small thing. Because of who she was, she wasn’t easily influenced. People generally passed through her life without causing too many ripples. She liked it that way. 

Jo became aware of a faint sound from down the hall, and realised that it was her phone ringing, which she had left in her clutch, discarded on the coffee table. She sighed and made her way to the living room, not intending to answer, but to check who it was. This late, it could only be one person. Grabbing the clutch and extracting the phone, she saw the picture of her best friend on the screen briefly, before it darkened and the ringing stopped. Swiping the screen, she read the notifications with another heavy sigh. Six missed calls and 4 messages, all getting increasingly frantic, and all from Helen. Knowing she would never get any rest otherwise, she pressed the button to dial Helen back. The phone hardly rang before Helen’s agitated voice came on the line.

“Jo, what the fuck? Where are you? I’ve been trying to reach you, you weren’t at the pub, are you okay? James said you just left, that you were going home. I knocked earlier, but there was no answer!”

“Helen, calm down, I’m fine, I’m home. Nothing is wrong….” She trailed off, knowing what’s coming.

“Bullshit, Jo-jo, I can hear it in your voice. What happened?”

Jo let out a long breath. She knew she was going to have to tell Helen something to appease her, otherwise she will not hear the end of it. Thinking quickly, Jo decided to go with a watered down version of the truth.

“Okay, fuck woman, I’ll tell you, just calm down.”

The line went quiet, and after a while, Helen spoke again.

“All right. I’m calm. This better be good.”

Jo hesitated.

“Okay. Well. Thing is….”

“Spit it out bitch!” Helen interrupted. “I need to know what happened!”

“Okay, calm your tits! I’m thinking.” Jo took another deep breath, while Helen, for once, kept quiet, her impatience palpable on the line.

“So, I was walking home after you stood me up, again, and I heard this noise in the alley, and I went closer, and there was a man, he was hurt or sick or something and I might… have… brought him home…” The sentence came out in a breathless rush, until she came to the end of it, and started realising how incredibly stupid it sounded when she said it out loud.

There was a lengthy and deafening silence on the other end of the line. Jo waited, clutching the phone in a death grip and pinching her eyes shut, knowing what was coming.

“Joanna Elizabeth Hart! What the ACTUAL fuck were you thinking? Are you completely out of your mind? Did you actually pick a strange man up off the street and take him into your home like a stray puppy? Are you insane? He could be a bloody serial killer, or a rapist or something! Is he still there? I’m coming over right now!”

“NO!” Jo surprised herself, interrupting the flow of recriminations from her friend. “Helen, calm down for fucks’ sake, for the third time, I’m fine! He’s weak, and cold, and sick, and I better go and check up on him, now that you mention it.”

“He’s still there?!” Helen’s voice rose several octaves, she sounded equal parts pissed off and hysterical.

“Yes, he’s still here. I don’t know who he is, and I don’t know what happened to him, but I have a gut feeling that he won’t hurt me.” Jo could hear Helen trying to interrupt, but kept talking, her voice quiet. “Helen, honey, trust me. He’s hurt, or sick or something, I couldn’t leave him there, he would have probably died of hypothermia. I don’t know, but somehow I am really sure that everything will be fine. As soon as he’s stronger, I’ll talk to him, and send him on his way, wherever he comes from.”

Helen was quiet again, and then finally replied, sounding calmer.

“Okay, fine. I trust your judgement. Please be careful, and promise me one thing.”

Jo waited in silence.

“Check in with me? Please just let me know you’re okay. And please, when you’re ready, will you tell me everything? I know you Jo, and I know something’s going on that you’re not telling me. Please promise me that.”

“I promise. Thank you. For understanding, and for worrying.” Jo felt relieved, and suddenly drained.

“Of course I worry, that’s my job you asshole.” Helen said, and Jo could hear the faint smile in her voice. “Bye babes. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Jo hung up and turned slowly, lost in thought. As she turned round, she was faced with the stranger standing in her living room doorway, holding on to the wall with one hand, watching her carefully. He was wearing the clothes she had given him, and his hair hung damp to his shoulders. Although he still looked tired and weak, he looked incredibly delicious for someone in borrowed clothes. She got the impression he could pull off a garbage bag if he had to.

“Thank you, once again, dear lady, for your care and empathy. I am forever in your debt. And rest assured, not one hair on your head will come to harm at my hand, I swear this to you on my life.” He declared, looking incredibly sincere, one long hand clasped to his heart. Jo just bit her lip, saying nothing.

What was there to say, after all?


	4. Chapter 4

Jo woke slowly, her brain refusing to engage fully. Her eyes felt gritty as she tried unsuccessfully to open them. Taking stock, she felt the wet spot under her cheek, tasted the foul taste in her mouth, and felt the ridges on her face, left there by the material she was apparently resting on. Finally managing to open her protesting eyes fully, she was greeted with the sight of her own hand, fingers intertwined with longer, strong ones, and she realised that she was sitting next to the stranger’s bed, her head resting on the edge of the bed, holding his hand, and her back and neck aching and stiff.

What? She thought. Why was she holding his hand? She tried to disentangle her fingers from his slowly and gently, so as not to wake him up, but he just held on tighter. Eventually, she gave up, and left her much smaller hand in his large long-fingered one. Having lifted her head, she was able to watch his face as he slept. He was truly a striking man. His fingers tightened around hers, and a small frown appeared between his sculpted raven brows. She could see his eyes darting backward and forward beneath his lids and his lips turned down slightly at the corners, and she found herself wishing she could do something to make the corners of that mouth turn up, instead of down. He’s probably having a nightmare, she mused. The thought made her remember why she was there in the first place. That’s why he was holding her hand!

~~~~~~~~~~~

After having showed him to the guestroom last night and practically having to drag him to the bed and tuck him in, she had gone to her own room, locking the door behind her (just in case) and had gotten ready for bed. She was exhausted, and a long hot shower helped relax her. Even after the events of the night, she was sure sleep would overcome her with little trouble. She was snuggling under the warm blankets when she had heard a muffled shout, followed by more garbled words. She froze, laying in her bed, her eyes wide, listening. She couldn’t decide what to do. Should she check on him? Should she put the pillow over her head to muffle the noise and ignore him? Finally, sighing and rolling her eyes, she had gotten out of bed and padded down the hallway to the guest room. She had opened the door and peered in, and was greeted by the sight of the man she had rescued thrashing and moaning in bed. His eyes had been wide open and glassy, and a sheen of sweat covered his brow. He was clutching at the bedding with fingers turned white from effort, and mumbling and groaning between laboured breaths. He had clearly been very agitated, and Jo had hurried to the bed, and grabbed his hand. His eyes snapped to hers, wild and searching, the dread, pain and loathing evident in them. He looked like a man who had seen the worst things possible in the universe, and escaped with his life to tell the tale. The moment she had grabbed his hand though, he seemed to immediately start calming down, like she was his lifeline to reality, his anchor in this world.

“It’s okay,” she had whispered. “I’m right here, you’re fine, nothing’s going to hurt you, I promise.” She had said, softly stroking a lock of pitch black hair back from his high forehead.

His breathing had still hitched a little bit, like a child coming down from a tantrum, but had slowed, and he had continued to watch her warily, his hands still shaking, his eyes wide. Jo had turned her talent up by a few notches, projecting the influence, using her aura to send him calm reassuring sensations.

“I’m Jo, remember? I brought you here, you were hurt and freezing, and now you’re in bed, and you’re going to be fine, I promise. Okay?” She was slowly stroking the back of his hand with her thumb. Back and forth, back and forth. The movement had calmed her as much as it seemed to calm him.

“Okay.” He had grated out, his voice foggy with sleep. He had let out a long shaky breath, and Jo could see he was making an effort to calm down. After long stretched minutes of silence, he had spoken again.

“I fell.” His voice had been soft and sad, his eyes skittering to the ceiling. “I fell so far, so very deep. I fell from everything that was beautiful and… real. Everything, and everyone, that I loved and cherished. I fell into darkness. It was my own fault. I … hurt people. I deserved it, everything.” He had closed his eyes tightly, his face scrunching up with hurt. “The things, they did horrible things to me. They wouldn’t leave me alone. It’s so dark, it smothers me, I can’t breathe. It hurts so much.” All this was said with eyes still tightly closed, his breathing speeding up again and his hand tightening almost painfully around hers. Jo had been surprised and unexpectedly touched when she saw a single tear squeeze its way out of the corner of his eye. She had stayed quiet, letting him continue.

“I remember… I remember how much it hurt. It hurt so. Much. The pain and the fear. I was so angry. Sad. I was so lost. The darkness…. The monsters in the dark…” His voice was very quiet, on the edge of hearing. After that he had been quiet for almost a full minute.

“I remember my name.”

Jo remembered feeling a cold sense of foreboding at his words. Maybe it had been the way he had said it, or the way he had looked so lost, so scared. Maybe she was afraid to finally find out, to put a name to this strange man.

“My name is Loki.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Jo came back to the present, and her thoughts churned. Loki. What a strange name, she had never heard it before, but somehow felt like she knew it. She looked at Loki as he slept on, now having relaxed into a deeper slumber again. Deep in thought, Jo sat still, thinking. What was going to happen to him? He seemed like a man out of time, like he didn’t belong in the here and now, in her world. She gave a cynical smirk, shaking off the fanciful thought. Even if such a thing was possible, her world were quite complicated and strange enough as it is. Maybe that was it, maybe that was why fate had brought them together. He seemed…. Different. Like she was different. Perhaps that’s why she was chosen to be the one to walk past in his hour of need. Maybe they were kindred spirits, and he had fallen into her life for a reason.

Jo shook her head ruefully. She was making some rather large assumptions here. She still knew nothing about the man. He might be a banker, who leads an ordinary life with a lovely blonde waif of a wife and a string of children in the suburbs. Or maybe he’s a rock star or a celebrity who had taken the wrong cocktail of drugs one too many times, and that’s why the name seemed vaguely familiar to her. Or maybe, just maybe, he was like her. Different. Although she preferred the term “talented”. But then, she mused, she had always been able to detect others like her in the past. She could smell it on them from a mile away. But not him. Yes, she suspected he was different, but not in the same way she was. Her heart ached a tiny bit as she thought about it, and she found herself wishing that he hadn’t experienced the same things she did.

She, and others like her, was universally hated by humans, with very few exceptions. Jo understood that their hatred stemmed from fear and insecurity, and was lucky that she was able to hide what she was most of the time, to avoid the sidelong glances and the disgusted faces. Mutant. She hated the word. She hated the stigma attached to it, the way it was spoken with fear and revulsion, or pity and a sickly sweet kind expression, which was even worse in her mind. It did not define her. She wouldn’t let it. But it was who she was, and she could change that about just as much as she was able to change her golden brown eyes or her tiny frame or her tendency to chew her nails.


	5. Chapter 5

Jo, having given up on sleep, was leaning against the kitchen counter, a hot mug of coffee clutched in both hands, revelling in the warmth. She was deep in thought, thinking obviously about her little problem, or make it a rather tall problem, currently fast asleep in her guest room. Loki. She rolled the word around in her head, tasting it from all angles, worrying at it, as if it’s going to make any difference. 

At least he had a name, and she finally had something to call him. But it sounded… Odd, on the edge of familiar, in a way that sent a chill up her spine and made her feel wary and on guard. What’s with that? It’s just a name. It didn’t even mean anything to her. She thought. She’d never heard it before.

After his nightmare, and the recollection he had shared with her, Loki had finally fallen asleep again, still clutching her hand, and Jo had put down her head and drifted off too. And that was where she had woken up, her hand still firmly clutched in his. With some difficulty, she had managed to extricate her hand from his firm grasp and came looking for some life-giving coffee. Pushing herself away from the counter, she rinsed out her mug and turned, heading for the door to get dressed, and let out a small yelp when she saw Loki standing in the door, his long frame leaning against the door jamb.

“You startled me.” She stated, her hand resting on her heart.

He dropped his head slightly and gave her a thin-lipped smile. “I do apologise, I didn’t mean to.” He was silent for a few beats. “I woke up, and you were … gone.” He looked down again, seeming abashed at his own statement. Jo’s heart melted a little. He was like a big lost child.

“Did you manage to get some more sleep?” She enquired, trying her level best to sound light and friendly. “Yes, thank you.” He smiled, and pushed himself away from the door jamb and walked towards her. Taking both her hands I his, he looked into her eyes. “Thank you for everything you did. For coming to me when I was distressed. You…. Calm me.” He looked a bit puzzled as he made the statement, as if he was trying to figure something out. His face lightened with a half-smile. “My lady…. Please forgive me my rudeness, but I do not know what you’re name is. By what name do I address my saviour?” He continued, still holding her hands.

Jo dropped her gaze, feeling self-conscious. “My name is Joanna, but everyone calls me Jo. And it’s the least I could do.”

“Jo…” he repeated, rolling the word around, saying it again. “It suits you. It’s short, like you…” This earned him a cuff on the shoulder, which made his smile widen. “And strong. Simple, yet charming.” He added, smiling still broader.

Jo blushed and turned away to hide the heat in her cheeks. At the counter, she glanced over her shoulder. “Would you like some coffee?” Loki cocked his head to the one side, frowning as if in puzzlement. Joanne wiggled the mug she’s taken from the cupboard and raised her eyebrows questioningly. “Coffee? You know, the hot beverage we drink in the morning in order to face the world and pretend we’re adults?” she said jokingly. He continued to look puzzled. Gradually, it dawned on her, and she put the mug down quietly.

“You don’t know what coffee is, do you?” she said, her voice almost inaudible, her hand automatically half reaching out for him. Loki dropped his gaze, staring at the floor, and gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head. “I don’t. I am sorry.” Lifting his eyes again, he looked at her, his eyebrows drawn together, his eyes vulnerable.

“There’s something wrong with me, isn’t there?” he said softly, earnestly, the corner of his mouth dipping as he spoke. “I feel… Fine. Much better than last night. I feel normal. I am fatigued, and not at my full strength, but other than that, I am physically well.” He turned and paced towards the door, turned again, and came back to her, his bare feet barely a whisper on the floor, his arms hanging uneasily at his sides as if he didn’t know what to do with them. “I’m not sure if I have never known what… coffee… is, or whether I have forgotten. I can’t remember.” He grabbed the chair next to him at the breakfast nook. “This is a chair.” He pointed. “That is a window. With a tree outside. I am a man, and it is morning. We are standing in a kitchen. How do I not know what this beverage is?”

Loki turned and paced away from her again, barely suppressed anxiety evident in every line of his body. Getting to his previous place at the kitchen door again, he leaned against it with his back to Jo, his arm above his head and his fist clenched. He stood quietly like that for a long moment.

“Why can’t I remember?!” The last word was almost shouted in frustration, and Jo jumped a little at his vehemence. She found her feet carrying her across the kitchen towards him, wanting to comfort, without even deciding to. Standing behind him, she placed her hand softly on his back between his shoulder blades. His skin was warm under her hands, and he was trembling slightly with emotion.

“Loki?” Jo’s voice was tentative, she was unsure of how he would react. She had barely met him, but somehow his frustration and pain skewered into her heart like shards of jagged glass. Yet, he scared her a little as well. She could sense his temper born of frustration, and didn’t quite know how to react. But she stood her ground, her heart beating fast, and kept her hand on him as he got his breathing under control. She wanted to comfort him, to take away his hurt. Mustering all her own strength, she made her voice light again, softly stroking his back.

“I tell you what. Let me give you a cup of this strange beverage, and we can sit down and talk. Just talk, okay? We can see what we can figure out. I know you’re confused, and heaven knows so am I. But maybe we can get some answers, okay?” She felt him slowly relax under her hand, drawing in a shuddering breath. His head came up, and he turned, giving her a wan smile.

“Okay. Give me that beverage you have been boasting about, woman.” He attempted. Jo smiled, relief flooding her. Jo got the coffee, and not knowing or really caring at this point how he takes it, dumped a spoon of sugar in it and sat down at the table. Loki had already folded his long frame into one of the chairs. His hands were folded in front of him and he looked more relaxed than he had earlier. They sat in surprisingly comfortable silence for a while, until eventually, Loki broke the quiet.

“You found me in the street? I do not remember much. I remember you came to me when I woke up in a bed. Before is… a blur. I remember feeling very very cold, and…” He dropped his head and passed a hand over his eyes. “Alone.” He looked up, his eyes beseeching her. “Can you tell me what happened? What you know?” Jo reached for his hand, and started from the beginning, recounting her walk from the pub, finding him and bringing him home. She also filled him in on the rest of the evening, glossing over the embarrassing shower moments. Finally, she fell silent, and they sat silently over their cold coffee cups. They were both thinking about how much they still had to talk about.

“So… you have no idea of how you came to be in that alley?” Jo asked, her back turned to him as she refilled the empty cups. “Did you walk there or drive there? Were you with someone?” Loki was silent for a few seconds, and only answered her when she settled across from him again.

“No. I don’t recall being with someone besides you…, in the presence of someone, just existing in the same room, ever.” He looked down, seeming shy and awkward, then turned his eyes on her again with a lopsided smile, which to her regret faded quickly. “I can feel… Other people, people that care for me, in the shadows of my mind. But they feel … far away, indistinct.” His hand clenched into a fist again on the table top. Jo kept quiet, knowing there was more he needed to say.

“I know it’s in my brain, it’s there, the information we seek, but I cannot access it. It feels like trying to catch the breeze, or running to catch up to a sprinting steed.” He stared off into the distance for a moment, then returned his eyes to hers. “I know, or it feels like I know, that… I’m not from here. There are somethings that are familiar, everyday things. But there are also things that feel… Wrong. Out of place. Like I didn’t only forget them, but like I never knew they existed.” They both sipped their coffee in silence for a few moments.

“I feel somehow out of time and place. As if I know, I just know, that I am alone, here, now.” 

Jo remembered her own thoughts of the night before, of how he seemed like a man out of time and place. She reached for his hand instinctively, and blurted the words without thinking.

“You are not alone. You have me.”


	6. Chapter 6

“You are not alone. You have me.”

He froze, staring at her, a look of incredulity passing over his handsome features before being replaced by an expression of gratefulness and relief, as if it was the exact thing he needed to hear. Jo didn’t know why she had said that. She didn’t know this man, he clearly didn’t even know himself, and yet, she cared. Her heart ached with his obvious hurt and confusion, and she wanted to make him feel better, to show him that he is safe, and that she will help him find himself.

“Thank you, Joanna. I do not understand what happened, but I will find out. And one day, be it within my power, I will repay you for the kindness you have shown me.” He stopped and tossed back the last of his coffee. He dropped his head and gave her the look that she was rapidly becoming to recognize, his green eyes catching hers from under his brow.

“I have another thing to ask of you, dear lady. But I would understand if you cannot bestow this request. You have done so much for me already.” He looked so grave, so serious, that Jo felt her heart beating faster. For the life of her, she couldn’t think what he needed, and she felt unsure whether there was anything this man asked that she could do, however much she wanted to. He stared at her in silence, until the tension in the room was palpable. Then, with a suddenness that knocked the breath out of her, the grin was back. The full-blown toothy grin she had a glimpse of last night. His eyes lit up with humour, and Jo’s eyes widened.

“I’m STARVING!” He declared.

Jo burst out laughing, not able to help herself, and cuffed him on the shoulder, to which he reacted with a mock “OW” and a hurt expression. Still laughing, Jo asked: “What was that? Are you trying to give me a heart attack? I thought for a second there you were going to ask me to sacrifice my first born you were so serious!”

Loki threw back his head and laughed with her, clearly very pleased with himself. “I was just trying to lighten the mood a bit. All we’ve been talking about is my past, who I am, and where I come from. And my predicament.” He sobered a little, and spoke softly, almost tenderly. “I like seeing you laugh. I would like to see much more of it.”

Jo’s laughter died on her lips, his words surprising her a bit, and she looked down. “I would like to see you laugh too. You have a beautiful smile.” She said, feeling a bit shy. They both stood there, not looking at each other, the silence stretching uncomfortably.

Jo mentally shook herself out of the stupor, and joked: “Well, I can’t let my guest go hungry, that just wouldn’t do. What would you like? Pancakes? Full English? Some muesli and yogurt?” she shook her head. “No, you don’t seem the muesli type…” Loki looked confused and a little bewildered again, and Jo’s heart sank a bit.

“Tell you what, we’ll just make a bit of everything, how about that?” She said lightly, turning and starting to take ingredients from the fridge. “Also,” she continued, still working, “I’m not doing everything myself, so you’re helping.” She punctuated the sentence by pushing a bowl and half a dozen eggs into his hands. He still looked bewildered, but in a less serious way. Jo suspected that someone didn’t have a lot of experience in the kitchen. Loki stood there, looking extremely uncomfortable, holding the eggs and bowl awkwardly, watching Jo with big eyes. Taking pity on him, Jo decided to give him some instructions.

“Okay, I’m planning on making some scrambled eggs, so I need you to whisk the eggs for me. Put down the bowl, and crack all the eggs in it. Can you do that?” Jo supressed a giggle when he nodded, putting the bowl down and swallowing hard. “Come on Loki, it’s not rocket science. You must’ve whisked eggs before, it doesn’t matter where you come from!” she said, still trying to hold back the giggles to keep some of his dignity intact. He nodded, still looking unsure, and opened the eggs, grabbing one and tapping it carefully against the side of the bowl. He managed to get most of the egg in the bowl, and extracted the pieces of shell with his fingers. He turned and gave Jo a bright triumphant smile, as if he just discovered the purpose of life. Jo, couldn’t help smiling at his pride as she handed him the whisk.

They worked together in silence for a while, Jo taking pity on Loki when he looked a little lost, and slapping his hand away when he dipped a finger in the pancake batter. She was fast learning that he had a broad mischievous streak, and loved to make her laugh. Jo was concentrating on the pancakes already in the pan, when she felt a sticky wet finger being smeared across her cheek. She squealed and turned, spatula at the ready, brandishing it like a deadly weapon. Loki had retreated to a safe distance, and he was holding the bowl of batter in one hand, chortling and pointing at her with a batter-coated finger.

“You…. Little… “ Jo started, advancing on him. Loki looked a little startled, but didn’t retreat more, he just stood there, a broad roguish grin on his face. They were facing off, and Joanne was weighing her options, trying to think how she was going to get the better of him. He did have about a foot in height and probably 60lbs in weight on her. Suddenly, Loki darted to the left, putting the kitchen table between them, still grinning. They danced around the table, like two kids in a game of tag, all anxiety and angst of the last 12 hours forgotten. Finally, Jo moved fast and caught up with Loki, smacking him on the shoulder hard with the oily spatula. As her arm came around, however he grabbed her wrist, half deflecting the smack and turning her around, his other arm snaking across her waist, pulling her body tight against his.

Joanne’s breath huffed out and her carefree laughter dried up in the face of the sudden tension in the air. She could feel the hard length of his body pressing tightly against hers, the strong arm around her waist, and the grip of his hand on her wrist. She could smell him, fresh and warm and masculine, and feel his breath on her neck. He was completely still, just holding her. Then, slowly, his hand trailed down her forearm from her wrist, his fingers skimming over her skin, feather light, leaving trails of sensation in their wake. Jo had to concentrate to start breathing again as his fingers travelled ever upward along her arm. He dropped his head a little, and pressed his nose into the crook of her neck, inhaling deeply as he continued stroking her arm. Finally, his hand reached her shoulder, skimming past the material of her t-shirt, and reaching her neck, dancing over her collarbone and up her carotid artery. Jo tilted her head automatically to give him better access, her heart thundering in her chest. He was driving her crazy. Then, he swiped a finger through the batter that was still smeared on her cheek.

“You’ve got a bit of batter there.” He muttered into her hair, his voice low and carnal. He brought his finger to her lips, and Jo found her mouth opening involuntarily. She folded her lips around his long batter-covered digit, sucking off the sweet sticky stuff, her tongue playing around his finger. His arm tightened around her body and he moaned low in his throat at the sensations she was causing. She could feel what their little interlude was doing to him, it was starting to press quite clearly into her lower back. His lips connected with the skin of her neck as she continued to suck hungrily on his finger, and the sensation of his warm wet lips made her heart beat even faster and heat spread through her body. Jo wasn’t sure what exactly was happening, and whether it was right or wrong. All she knew was that she wanted it, desperately, in that moment. He tilted his hips forward, pressing his growing excitement hard against her as he continued to kiss her neck, travelling up towards the sensitive shell of her ear. Jo’s eyes slid closed as he nibbled and kissed at her earlobe, and she gave in to the sensations completely.

Suddenly, a loud knocking made them both start with fright and come out of their private little reverie. Loki, released Jo like a schoolboy that was caught making out behind the bike shed, and Jo made an attempt to straighten her clothes and her hair and get her breath and composure back. The knocking repeated, this time even more insistently, and accompanied by a voice.

“Jo! Jo, open up, I know you’re in there! *silence* JO!!! …. You had better be in there you idiot because if you’re not I’m going to fucking find you and kill you! *KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* “Joanna open the damn door!”

Jo and Loki stood frozen, staring at each other, listening to the verbal assault happening from outside the front door. They were both still trying to get their breath and composure back, and despite the distraction of the noise coming from the front door, Jo couldn’t help letting her eyes travel down Loki’s body, lingering on the evidence of her influence on him. It was quite apparent, owing to the sweatpants and lack of pants underneath. Loki, seeing her eyeing him, coloured a little and turned away, making an attempt to adjust himself as best he could.

“I’d better open the door, it’s my friend.” She apologised. Walking towards the door, she glanced over her shoulder and rolled her eyes.

“Oh, and brace yourself.”


	7. Chapter 7

Jo peeked through the peephole in her front door, more out of habit than anything else. She was greeted by the slightly fish-eyed view of her best friend, standing on her front step with her arms crossed and her foot tapping. Her whole body screamed her impatience, even though she seemed to have quietened down. She steeled herself and swung the door open, ready for the recriminations that are sure to be flung at her as soon as the wooden barrier was removed. 

As soon as the door was open wide enough, Helen lunged at Jo and caught her in a hug that almost knocked the breath out of her. Helen pressed her face into Jo’s shoulder and held on to her for almost a full minute. Finally, she let her go and held her at arm’s length, inspecting her from head to foot.

“Baby, are you okay?” Jo was slightly non-plussed at Helen’s words, as she was expecting more accusations and verbal assault. But then, Helen could never be accused of being predictable. Well, not her moods anyway. Jo unexpectedly felt her eyes fill with tears, and pulled her friend in for another hug. “I’m fine, I promise.” Jo whispered into Helen’s hair, holding tightly onto her, suddenly feeling tired and overwhelmed and desperately thankful to see her best friend. “Thank you for coming. I think I need you.” Jo continued, still holding on.

Finally, Helen extricated herself from the embrace, and took Jo’s hand, leading her to the couch. Sitting down next to her, she took Jo’s hands in hers.

“Time to own up bitch. Tell. Please. I need to know if you are okay, and if you are going to continue to be okay.” Helen looked earnestly into Jo’s eyes, as if searching for a sign that could reassure her. Jo stared back, absently wiping the last stray tears from the corners of her eyes.

Her best friend was an astonishing beauty. Helen was at least 5’9” and slender like a willow. She was blessed with a heart-shaped face with high cheekbones, full lips and lush green almond-shaped eyes. Her skin was like the finest china and her hair was a glorious straight auburn that fell almost to her waist. If Helen didn’t love her so much, she would’ve been jealous of her physical near-perfection. But it’s her personality that had caused the two women to become best friends. Helen, despite her strident bitch persona and hard-shell snark, was a down-to-earth, caring, understanding human being. She accepted Jo for what she was from the moment she met her, and it’s one of the main reasons Jo trusts her with her life.

Helen spoke again, pulling Jo out of her reverie. “Jo-jo? You still with me?” Jo gave her a slightly watery smile and nodded. “Helen, I don’t know… I think I might be in trouble…” When Helen immediately bristled, Jo hurried to reassure her. “Not bad trouble, don’t get your knickers in a knot. Just… I don’t know what to feel, and what to do.” Jo looked down, feeling embarrassed.

“Tell me everything. From the very beginning to this very moment. I’ll know when you lie, and I will strangle the truth out of you so help me.” Helen had put on her fiercest look and was staring Jo down.

Jo chuckled at the empty threat, and started. She tried very hard to remember all the details, starting with Helen standing her up for the girls’ night. She gave her friend a pointed look at that, but Helen just waved it off airily, remarking on how Jo would’ve done the same if she had seen his smile and the shape of his shoulders. Laughing and getting back to her story, Jo continued to how she found Loki, cold and near death in the alley. She tried to leave nothing out of what actually happened, but it was hard to describe how he made her feel. How mesmerising his eyes were, how she immediately… cared. In the cold light of day, she couldn’t even justify to herself what made her bring a stranger into her life.

She continued through to bringing him home, noting but ignoring Helen’s disapproving stare. Jo rolled her eyes at her friend and continued talking, and once again, just like when she was telling Loki himself earlier, she glossed over the shower situation. She was still embarrassed at her instinctive physical reaction to him. Jo carried on, telling Helen about the nightmare, trying to describe his fear and pain and desperation, and failing miserably in her own mind. Helen was mostly quiet until now, encouraging Jo but not saying much or asking questions.

Now, she leaned forward eagerly, caught up in the story. Her expression changed gradually as Jo described going to him and calming down, and when she described spending the night at his bedside, holding his hand, Helen was on the edge of her seat, clearly longing to open her mouth. Jo took a deep breath, to start telling Helen the difficult part, wanting to continue where she woke up this morning, how they talked and made breakfast, and how he was currently in her kitchen. But Helen interrupted her quietly.

“I’m sorry, Jo, but who the fuck is this man? What did you get yourself into?” She whispered, her face serious and worried. “I see the way you look when you talk about him. I’ve never seen that look on you before.”

Jo looked down, not wanting to face the worry and concern in her friends face. She felt a little ashamed because what she did, taking a strange man into her home, was irresponsible and stupid. But she also felt defiant, because dammit, she wasn’t stupid, and all her instincts told her that she did the right thing. Still with her eyes cast down, she continued. “This guy… I know his name, but I don’t know who he is… and…” She felt Helen’s hand tighten in her own, and lifted her eyes.

Helen had gone completely still, staring past her shoulder with her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open slightly. Jo instinctively glanced over her shoulder, to see Loki standing in the kitchen door, feet planted wide, drying his hands on a dishrag, with a quizzical expression on his handsome face. Turning back to Helen, Jo barely supressed a giggle. The look on her friends face was priceless. She looked like she has had all the wind knocked out of her. Slowly, Jo watched Helen tilt her head to the side, her one eyebrow lifting as she gave Loki a proper once-over. Helen’s whole demeanour changed as her eyes travelled from his bare feet, up his mile long legs and over his torso and shoulders, coming to rest on his face, which was friendly if somewhat guarded. A big friendly smile bloomed on Helen’s face, and Jo rolled her eyes inwardly. She was so a predictable.

Jo stood up and moved to the side, beckoning Loki closer. He moved across the living room, casually draping the dishrag over his shoulder as he covered the distance in three long rolling strides. Jo heard a small noise from Helen’s general direction, but decided to ignore it.

“Helen, this is Loki, the guy I’ve told you about, that was in trouble last night.” Jo said, more for his benefit than Helen’s. “Loki,” she continued, “This is my friend Helen Parker.”

Helen got up, extending a hand, the bright, almost manic smile still plastered in her striking features.

“Hi, it is very nice to meet you.” She said. Loki stepped forward and took her hand in his large one, enfolding her fingers and bringing them to his lips. He planted a small chaste kiss on her knuckles, giving her a burning look from beneath his brow. “Good morning Helen Parker, it is an honour and a pleasure.” He said in his rich baritone. “Please, would you care to join us for breakfast? If I am not mistaken, there would be by far enough for all three of us. Does that suit you, Joanna?” He continued, turning to address Jo.

The two women gaped at him for a second, before Jo replied: “Sure, of course, that would be lovely.”

Nodding his head once, Loki turned on his heel and headed back to the kitchen. As soon as he was out of earshot, Helen grabbed Jo roughly by the arm and jerked her closer, whisper-shouting in her ear. “Jesus CHRIST Jo, what the fuck?! How did you not tell me you picked up a fucking Greek GOD in the street?” Jo snorted into her hand, trying to hold back her laughter. “He is magnificent!” Helen continued. “And that voice! He could talk to me all night long baby. Got a funny accent though.” She added in a more normal tone of voice.

“Helen, calm down, for crying out loud. The poor man is bewildered enough as it is. Do you think you are able to make it through breakfast without jumping his bones?” Jo grinned, but felt a slight pang as she joked with her friend, and pushed it firmly away. Loki doesn’t belong to her. She found him in the street. It’s not as if she can shout FINDERS KEEPERS like a twelve-year-old. And she was used to Helen and her beauty and her antics and her habit of bedding one hunk after the other without so much as blinking. Jo didn’t care. All she cared about is finding out who the hell he is and sending him on his way. That’s all. 

Isn’t it?

Helen jumped in and helped to finish making breakfast, after which the three of them sat down at the kitchen table and ate, Loki devouring a plate full of scrambled egg and bacon, followed by half a dozen pancakes absolutely drenched in syrup. The two women could only stare as the food vanished at an alarming rate.

“Hungry?” Helen enquired with one eyebrow raised, and Loki glanced up from his plate long enough to nod enthusiastically, his cheeks bulging with syrupy pancake. Jo smiled at the picture he made. Wherever he was from, he clearly hadn’t eaten in a while. He swallowed and addressed both women.

“Jo, these pancakes are truly a work of art, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Jo smiled. “And you deserve some credit as well, you helped made them.”

Loki gave her a quick wicked grin before he hid it behind a coffee cup, and Jo’s stomach flipped, remembering their little interlude earlier the morning. Finally, when they were all done and the dishes cleaned, they sat at the table again.

“So,” Helen voiced, “you have no idea where you come from, or who you are.” Loki shook his head and looked down at his folded hands.

“And what, dear friends, may I ask is the modern solution to this kind of predicament? What do you do when you need information?”

Loki and Jo both stared at Helen, non-plussed, until she threw up her hands and rolled her eyes. “Really guys?”

The blank stares continued.

Jumping up, Helen vanished into the living room, only to return seconds later, brandishing a tablet triumphantly.

“You GOOGLE it!”


	8. Chapter 8

“You GOOGLE it!”

Jo and Loki watched Helen warily, Loki looking uncertain and Jo feeling unexpectedly afraid. She wondered at the feeling of premonition that welled up inside her, as if she didn’t want to know. As if it would change everything. And she wasn’t sure whether she wanted things to change.

“Well, come on!” Helen beckoned, and sat down at the kitchen table again. Jo and Loki took places across the table, letting her do the actual searching. Helen swiped and tapped for a while, opening a browser and typing in “LOKI”. For several seconds silence reigned in the kitchen, and Jo’s hand crept unconsciously to Loki’s, grabbing his fingers as they watched Helen’s eyes dart over the screen. Jo was watching her friend’s face closely for any hint of what she was reading. She watched as Helen’s eyes widened, and an incredulous smile slowly spread across her face. She tapped a few more times, her eyes darting fast across the screen. Jo couldn’t take it anymore.

“What does it….?” Jo started, making a grab for the tablet.

Helen shushed her loudly, holding up a hand and whisking the tablet out of reach. Still reading, she huffed out a laugh and her hand went to her mouth. Then, her expression started changing, a small frown appearing between her eyebrows. The suspense was killing Jo, but she knew her friend would only share when she’s ready. Loki was holding onto her hand tightly, also watching Helen like a hawk. Finally, Helen killed the screen and put the tablet down. The amusement had drained from her face and she looked up and locked eyes with Loki. Her eyes had gone steely as she stared him down.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” She said calmly. “Do you think this is funny? Some kind of sick twisted joke?”

Loki jerked back, looking like she had just slapped him. Confusion etched his face, and he opened his mouth to speak, but she interrupted him. “Did you really think for a second that Jo was going to fall for it? What’s your scam? What do you want?” She ranted, her voice getting louder with every question she fired off at him. Loki was just sitting there taking it, looking perplexed and a little hurt, his eyes darting between Helen and Jo. Helen had gotten up in the meanwhile, and advanced on him, looking as if she was about to inflict bodily harm on him.

“You DARE come into my friend’s life, con her into caring about you? How could you?” She continued, now pointing at him, pushing a finger under his nose, looming over him as he leaned back in his chair. Deciding it was time to intervene, Jo took Helen’s arm.

“Helen, stop.” Helen barely glanced her way. “What did it say? Helen, calm down and tell me what did it say. Please.” Jo pleaded. Finally, Helen looked into her eyes, and her face softened. She turned, and visibly trying to calm herself down went back to her chair and stood behind it, looking down at her hands for a minute. Then, she reached for the tablet, switched on the screen and started reading in a dramatic narrator’s voice.

According to Norse mythology, Loki is the son of Laufey and the god of mischief. Loki is a shapeshifter and can appear in the form of a salmon, a mare or a seal. Loki sometimes assists the gods and sometimes behaves in a malicious manner towards them. Loki’s positive relations with the gods end with his role in engineering the death of the god Baldr and Loki is eventually bound by the gods with the entrails of one of his sons. Loki’s origins and role in Norse mythology, which some scholars have described as that of a trickster god, have been much debated by scholars. Loki has been depicted in or is referenced in a variety of media in modern popular culture.

“You want to hear some more?” She asked, sarcasm dripping from her voice. With a flourish, she swiped and read on.

Loki is one of several powerful beings from the magical realm of Asgard, who have been worshipped as gods. Odin, once the ruler of the Asgardian gods, led his subjects in a war against their enemy, the frost giants from the land of Jotunheim (one of the nine worlds of Asgard). Laufey, king of the frost giants, was slain in battle and the giants were defeated. Surveying the spoils of war, the Asgardians discovered a small Asgardian god-sized baby hidden at the giants’ main fortress. The infant was Loki, whom Laufey had kept hidden due to his shame over his son’s diminutive size. Odin remembered his father Bor’s dying words to adopt the son of a father killed by his hands; Odin adopted Loki into his own family, raising Loki like a son along with his biological son, Thor.

Helen put down the tablet, and remained standing, folding her arms. Jo was completely and utterly stunned. She felt numb, as if her extremities had stopped working. She stared at Helen for a few seconds more, then jumped up and let go of Loki’s hand as if it had burned her. Rounding on him, she said one word.

“Explain.”

Loki stared. He was obviously lost for words, looking at her pleadingly. But Jo wanted answers. She understood that according to him, he barely knew his name, but she couldn’t, wouldn’t, let this man into her life if he was some kind of fraud.

“I don’t know.” He said quietly, looking down.

“Bullshit! Stop telling me you don’t know. Stop making me feel sorry for you. What do you want from me?” Jo knew she was raising her voice, but she didn’t care. Her mind struggled to assimilate the information. He was a fraud? Either that, or he was seriously disturbed. A god? Really?

“Explain.” She repeated. Helen was uncharacteristically quiet, but standing next to her, presenting a united front.

Loki was becoming agitated, sitting forward and gesturing with his hands as he spoke. “Joanna, I’m sorry, I do not know what else to say. I don’t remember. I know as much as you, and this… information… is as much a surprise to me as it is to you. You have to believe me.” He was pleading, and Jo felt her heart melt a little bit. “I want nothing from you. I am not a criminal, neither am I insane, as far as I know. Please.” He looked at them, his eyebrows drawn together.

Then, Helen spoke again. “I don’t believe you.” She pointed a finger at him. “How many women have you conned with your sob story? How can you not know who you are, where you’re from? And why the name? Did you honestly think we wouldn’t find out that you picked a random name out of a fucking comic book?” Her whole body spoke of her disgust and her anger. “In what universe did you think…” She continued, but Loki lunged up to his full height and roared.

“I DON’T KNOW!!!”

Spittle flew from his mouth as he shouted, his normally gentle baritone raised to thunder in their ears. The chair that he’d been sitting in scooted back and fell over, as the coffee mug in front of him shattered into a hundred pieces. His eyes were wild, glinting emerald green, darting back and forth between the two shocked women. He was looming over them, larger than life, projecting power and authority that cowed them, two strong independent women. Then, just as suddenly, he dropped his head, all the rage going out of him, deflating him until he stood before them like a normal, confused man. Silence reigned in the kitchen, none of them making a sound. Quietly, Loki righted the chair and sat down, still not looking at them.

“I will go.” He looked up, his face resolute, but his eyes sad as he looked at Jo. “I thank you for your kindness and hospitality Joanna Hart, but I cannot let harm come to you, in whichever form. I apologise for my outburst. If you could give me my clothes, I will return yours and be on my way.”

Jo was quiet for another moment before she answered. Once again, she let her instinct lead her, although she wasn’t sure if that was the wisest path to take. Frankly, she wasn’t sure of anything anymore.

“No.” she said. Helen turned, gaped at her and then opened her mouth to speak.

“I said no, Helen. He’s not going.” Jo looked at Loki, who was watching her intently. He looked like he was longing to believe her, but couldn’t let himself.

Turning to Helen, Jo said: “I have the perfect solution. The only way to know exactly what is going on in his head. There’s only one person that can help us figure it out, get into his mind.

Understanding bloomed on Helen’s face, wiping away the disapproval, and a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as Jo continued.

“We’re going to see the Professor.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“They’re not going to let us in…” Loki muttered as they pulled up to the gate of Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters.

“They will…” Jo smirked as they came to a stop and a very military-looking guard sauntered up to her window.

“Good afternoon Ma’am, can I help you? This is private property.” He said, leaning back pompously and hooking his thumbs into his belt.

“Hi!” Jo said. “We would like to see Professor Xavier?”

The guard lifted an eyebrow out from behind his ray bans.

“I’m afraid the professor is a very busy man. Do you have an appointment?”

Loki turned back to Helen when she tapped him on the shoulder. “Watch!” she whispered.

Jo was looking at the guard intently, her head to one side. Loki couldn’t see her face, but the reaction of the guard was an indication that something was happening. He stood up straight, took off his sunglasses and smiled. The most beatific joyous smile he has ever seen. His eyes didn’t move from Jo for an instant. He was also blushing and stammering.

“Umm…. Sorry ma’am, I’m… ah … so sorry. What can I do for you? Anything? I can do anything…. Please?”

Jo smiled and repeated her question from before.

“We would like to see Professor Xavier?”

The guard’s reaction was precious, he was quite literally falling over his feet and stumbling over his words, and Helen giggled on the backseat. Minutes later, they were being ushered into the building and towards the professor’s office by the same guard, who had abandoned his post to escort them.

As they walked along, Loki bent his head slightly and whispered to Helen: “How did she just do that?”

Helen smirked and looked up at him. “O, there’s quite a lot of things you don’t know about our Jo mister. But I’ll leave it to her to explain. She’s done it before, she’s better at it.”

Loki nodded, but kept staring at Jo where she was marching along next to the guard. Suddenly, she looked over her shoulder at him and tipped him a cheeky wink. And as she turned back, she thought: did he not remember? I did it to him, I had to, to help him calm down, but did he remember? No time to worry about that now, Jo thought as they arrived at the polished wooden door with plaque on it that said “Professor Charles Xavier.”


	9. Chapter 9

As Jo lifted her hand to knock, a calm, familiar voice sounded in her head and she started a bit.

Come in Jo, no need to stand on formality. And bring your … friends…

Jo looked at Helen and Loki as she dropped her hand to her side again. “He says we can come in.” she said, smiling apologetically. Loki and Helen both looked puzzled, but followed her into the office. Jo smiled a wide grin when she saw the kindly face of the man in his chair behind the desk. He looked the same as always, and with shocking clarity, memories flooded her brain.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jo was born 27 years ago, in a small town in West Virginia, United States. She had known from when she could remember, that she was different. Like all little girls, she loved to play dress-up, and adored pretty things. She was, as so many people told her over the years, as cute as a button, and she remember her grandfather always jokingly saying that she could “charm the pants off anything with a pulse”. Little did she realise how accurate he was. She had always felt different, and she always knew that there was something inside her that felt like a ball of burning light, tucked away in a closet, muted, hidden.

She discovered exactly how different she was one day when she was fourteen years old. It was a normal day, and Jo and her friends had been joking around while they walked to their next class. As they progressed down the hallway, the boy she’d been crushing on secretly came skulking out of the bathrooms. Her heart hammering in her chest, she had said hello, and he had snubbed her. He had given her a look of pure loathing, and told her to leave him the fuck alone, because he’ll never date her ugly ass anyway.

Jo had been mortified, but mostly angry and hurt, angry enough for that special something inside her to come to life. She remembered how she had called his name, and he had turned around in annoyance, ready to insult her again, but then made the mistake of looking into her eyes. Without thinking, Jo had unleashed that special something inside her, letting it shine forth at maximum power, letting it flow through her and out. She remembered clear as day how he looked confused for a second, and then all expression except wonder and awe had left his face. With one look into her golden glowing eyes, he had fallen into a deep fascination, or rather infatuation, with her. Jo smiled fondly as she remembered how she proceeded to humiliate him in the most interesting ways possible for the rest of the week.

For four days, she had him carry her and her friends’ bags, fetch their lunches, do silly dances in the hallway and insult teachers with the words she had whispered in his ear. He was helpless, and Jo tested her influence over him like a young bird testing her wings. She came to know how far she could push him before having to re-establish the bond with a flow of her power. For that time, he was completely under her spell, and would do anything for her, anything, without exception, that she asked of him.

Her fun came to an abrupt end when she was found by Professor Xavier, just as she was about to make the boy jump out a second floor window. It was the day her life changed forever. She will always be grateful for the professor and what he had done for her. He had taken her in, giving her love, respect and guidance, not only as a mutant, but as a human being. Charles Xavier had largely given her the precious gifts of self-respect, empathy and a moral compass, which made her what she is today.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Coming back to the present, Jo moved around the desk and bent down to hug the older man. He reached up and hugged her back, smiling widely.

“Jo, what a lovely surprise. It’s good to see you.”

Straightening up, Jo moved around the desk again, joining Loki and Helen where they were standing awkwardly looking on.

“Professor, thank you so much for seeing us. This is my friend Helen, and this…” she hesitated. “This is Loki. We met last night.” She finished awkwardly.

Professor Xavier inclined his head at Helen and then at Loki with a smile. “It is very nice to meet you both.” He turned to Jo. “And Jo, if you could let my security guard go, I would really appreciate that.” He said wryly.

Jo’s eyes widened and she turned around to find the security guard standing behind her with a slightly dazed smile on his face.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” She concentrated, pulling back her influence from the man, and he shook his head, looking like he had just awoken from some kind of stupor. “Thank you for your help. Um… you can go now.” She said, feeling heat in her cheeks. She knew that professor didn’t like his students or ex-students abusing their powers.

“That’s fine, Jo, I understand.” The professor said, demonstrating again his uncanny ability to know what you’re thinking without actually reading your mind. He moved around the desk, his chair barely whispering across the floor.

“Now, are you going to tell me to what I owe the pleasure, or am I going to have to find out myself?” he quipped, looking at his ex-student. “I am going to assume that it has something to do with the young gentleman you brought with you.” He gave Loki a penetrating stare, and Loki looked back passively. “Because however lovely your friend Helen is,” he continued, “I don’t sense anything out of the ordinary about her.”

At this, Helen rolled her eyes, shook back her hair, and looked out the window. Jo had to contain a smirk. She knew her friend. Clearly it didn’t sit well with Helen to be called ordinary.

The professor turned his gaze back to Loki, and just looked at him for a long while.

“You need help.”

It was a statement, more than a question.

“Yes, professor, we do need your help. Again, I’m really sorry for bursting in like this.” Jo hesitated, gathering her thoughts. “Loki seems to have some memory loss. I … found him… last night, and he was pretty out of it. He remembers his name, but not much else.”

“Well, he says he doesn’t remember…” Helen interrupted. Jo gave her a look and carried on.

“This morning, we discovered what the name means. It’s… weird.” Helen huffed and rolled her eyes, but Jo pressed on. “We thought that maybe you could help us get to the truth. Find out who he really is. And why he’s calling himself by this name….”

The professor held up a hand and Jo fell silent.

“I’ve heard the name.” He said, but offered no further explanation. He sat still, looking at Loki with narrowed eyes, his hand pressed to his lips. Jo and Helen kept their silence. Finally, the professor looked up at Jo. “I will try to help you.”

Jo felt an immense sense of relief flood her, and she glanced at Loki. His face was expressionless, and he nodded his head once. She could almost sense his uncertainty, but his face was resolute. He wanted to know. The professor moved his chair forward, until it faced another in front of his desk. He looked at Loki and extended a hand, indicating the chair. Loki’s eyes flicked to Jo, and he moved forward, folding his tall frame into the chair, facing the professor. 

“I want you to close your eyes and relax. Open your mind, you have to let me in. You have to want this. It won’t hurt, you won’t feel anything. Okay?”

Loki nodded and swallowed hard. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, visibly trying to relax. Xavier also closed his eyes, and a strange unsettling silence fell in the room. Helen extended a hand and grabbed Jo’s, giving it a reassuring squeeze. For what seemed like hours but was barely minutes, the professor and Loki both sat completely still, the tension in the room growing palpable. Jo watched them closely, trying to pick up on anything at all.

Gradually, the professor’s breathing started picking up slightly, and a finger twitched where his hands lay on his thighs. Jo was almost holding her breath, and she clutched Helen’s hand painfully. Another minute sauntered slowly past, and she could hear him breathing heavily now, and watched as his hand balled into a fist. Loki sat completely still, looking like a perfect statue carved of the finest marble. But the professor was labouring, and beads of sweat was starting to appear on his brow. His lips pressed together and his knuckles showed white as he tensed. Jo was absolutely gripped by the little tableau playing out before them. Gradually Jo noticed that the professor’s hand relaxed, and Jo could almost feel him pull back. He sat still for another few seconds, getting his breathing under control.

Then he opened his eyes, and stared at Loki speculatively, still slightly shaken. Eventually, Loki opened his eyes and stared back. A cold shiver ran down Jo’s spine. She recognized the look. It was what she has come to call in her mind the creepy look. She couldn’t really describe it, but there was something behind his eyes. Something that made his eyes glint greener than normal, something …. Malicious. But before Jo could say or do anything, he blinked, looked down and back up, and it was gone. He was again the man she had come to know in the last 24 hours. He turned his soft green eyes to her, looking vulnerable.

“Did it work?” He darted his eyes back to the professor, and then back to Jo, questioning.

The professor got a faraway look for a second, and then refocused on Loki and said: “Loki, Helen, if it’s not too much trouble, I’ve asked Rogue to get you some refreshments and show you around the property. I would like to catch up with my ex-student a bit, if you don’t mind.” Despite the polite nature of the request, it was clear that there was no room for argument. Just then, there was a knock on the door, and a girl with long dark hair with a white streak popped her head in.

“Did you call, professor?” she said.

“Yes, Rogue, thank you. Would you mind showing Helen and Loki around the grounds for a bit?” he answered.

“No problem!” she said brightly, and the three of them trooped out of the room, Loki throwing Jo a glance over his shoulder. When they were alone, the professor turned gravely to Jo.

“My dear girl…. What have you gotten yourself into?”


	10. Chapter 10

“So are you going to tell us what he said or not?” Helen sounded irritated, but Jo kept her eyes on the road, happy to have an excuse to avoid her friend’s eyes. She was still thinking, still processing what the professor had said. She needed time before discussing it with either of them. But she also knew Helen would not let her stall forever.

“He said he couldn’t get through. He couldn’t read him.”

Throwing a quick glance in Helen’s direction, Jo saw the sceptical look on her face.

“You told me there was no one the professor couldn’t read. No one on earth. So it follows that he is either an alien, or a Norse god as he claims.” The sarcasm lay thick on her voice, and Jo signed.

“Helen, I don’t know what happened, and I don’t know why it happened. Can we just let it go for a second?” Jo felt weary, in her bones, and however much she loved her friend and appreciated her support, she needed her to back off. “We’re going to drop you off, then we’re going to do some shopping and go home. I’m exhausted, and I’m sure Loki is.” She continued, glancing in the rear view mirror at Loki, who was staring out the window, not taking part in the discussion. The dark circles were back under his eyes. She threw Helen another look.

“Please. Trust me?” She added.

Helen huffed and crossed her arms. “Fine. If you trust him, and believe him, I’ll trust your judgement.”

“Thank you.” Jo said, unable to keep the relief out of her voice.

Jo dropped Helen off at her house which was a few kilometres from her own, and then headed towards a shopping centre. She had to coax him out of the car. He had turned quiet and distant after the events of the morning, and Jo tried her best to cheer him up. Eventually, they were walking into a clothing retailer, and Jo was grabbing jeans, shirts and a sweater or two off the shelves. Loki trailed behind giving input when asked, but otherwise he was quiet, staring around him wide-eyed at the people and the bustle. Eventually, they found themselves in the underwear section, and Jo stammered a bit, feeling her cheeks colour.

“You’re going to have to show me what you prefer… I don’t … know…” She stopped as Loki regarded her quizzically, a small smile starting to form at the corners of his lips. He grabbed a pair of loud patterned satin boxers off the nearest shelf and held it up high.

“These are undergarments?” He asked, looking at her seriously, one eyebrow raised and waiving the garment in the air. There was an unmistakable glint in his eye as Jo felt herself go even hotter, making a grab for the shorts. He just whisked them out of her reach, smiling broader.

“Loki, don’t do that. I’m serious.” Jo gave up, as there was no way she was reaching something he was trying to hold away from her. She folded her arms and glared up at him. Surprisingly, he put the pair of shorts back on the shelf and shrugged airily.

“We might as well move on Joanna, I do not want your sensibilities offended by the thought of my undergarments.” He was quiet for a second, looking thoughtful. “Or lack of, in my case.” He grinned and winked, turning on his heel and striding away, leaving Jo standing in the underwear aisle. Hurrying after him, Jo grabbed him by the elbow.

“Come on, we’re paying for these, and then we’re getting you some other essentials. I want to get home.” She said grumpily over her shoulder, dragging him along like a misbehaving three-year-old. Letting himself be dragged Loki followed her and they paid for the purchases, Jo wincing a little at the hole it made in her credit card balance. After stopping for some other essentials including food and toiletries, they eventually made it home.

By now it was quite late, and Jo threw a quick dinner together while Loki unloaded the purchases. She berated herself for her diet of the last few days as she plonked a plate of ham cheese and tomato sandwiches on the kitchen table. Deciding that she was in dire need of it, she opened a bottle of wine and took out two glasses just as Loki sauntered into the kitchen in only a pair of sweatpants. Jo lost focus for a second as her stomach did another one of those flippy moves. Turning quickly to regain her composure, she grabbed the wine and the glasses and turned back, holding up the bottle.

“Wine?” she asked, nervously watching for signs that this was yet another unfamiliar thing, but Loki just nodded in the affirmative and thanked her, sitting down. Jo poured two glasses and placed the bottle on the table between them. For a few minutes, they ate in silence, Jo again marvelling at the rate Loki tore through food, finishing his own and then polishing what she had left on her plate. Once dinner was done and the plates stacked, they moved to the couch, each grabbing a corner, wine glass in hand.

After a few seconds of silence, Loki spoke.

“I felt the professor. In my mind, I felt his…. presence.” He stared at where he was tracing his finger all around the rim of the glass. “He was gentle, but … insistent. I could feel that he was really trying to help you. He loves you. But… he couldn’t find anything, could he?”

Jo kept quiet. She knew that the professor would’ve done everything in his power to help her. But it was good to hear it from Loki himself. She knew exactly what he meant, as she had been read by the professor once before. Although a bit intrusive, it was not in the least unpleasant. And, like Helen had already pointed out, there was no one on earth that Professor Xavier have ever failed to read.

Loki was looking at her expectantly, and Jo knew she was going to have to tell him. She dropped her eyes and cleared her throat, stalling.

“Tell me. Please.” He said quietly, his eyes imploring her. After another moment, Jo spoke. 

“He couldn’t. He couldn’t read you, he couldn’t get through. He described it as darkness, blackness.” Jo took a deep breath. She knew that she was using the same words as the professor did, the same words as Loki himself used when he described his dream to her.

“He said that it felt like he couldn’t breathe. Like there were things, things coming to get him. He said there was so much fear, and sadness, and anger.” Jo looked down at the glass she was clutching in both hands. “But that’s all he got. He said…. He couldn’t get through. He doesn’t know.” She looked up into Loki’s eyes, and was surprised to feel warm wetness on her cheek.

“And if he doesn’t know, neither do we.”

Loki was still looking down at the glass in his hand. He slowly lifted it to his lips and took a sip, the ruby liquid staining his bottom lip before his tongue darted out to lick the drop.

“Thank you.” His voice was barely above a whisper. Jo wondered at the sudden change of topic, but kept quiet. “I can’t remember much about who I was. Who I am. But I have a feeling that not many people have showed me the kindness that you have since you found me Joanna.” He looked up at her. “You care so much. I have to confess I don’t understand why. I am a stranger to you. And yet, you are doing all these things, trying to help me.”

Jo shrugged.

“It’s the decent thing to do.”

“No it’s not!” Loki was more fervent now, leaning forward towards her. “That’s it, don’t you see? I … feel… that what you are doing isn’t merely kindness. You care. You care for me. Why?”

Jo knew there was no use in denying it. But she also didn’t understand it herself.

“I don’t know.” She felt like she couldn’t sit still anymore, and pushed herself to her feet and started pacing. “There’s just something about you. You need it. Kindness.” She glanced at him as she turned, and he was sitting on the couch, one long leg folded under him, glorious in a pair of sweatpants, and nothing else. She cocked her head at him.

“You know we did get you a few shirts, don’t you?”

It was Loki’s turn to be startled by a change of topic, and he laughed. Jo loved the sound.

“I’m comfortable.” He said simply. “And so you should be.” Jo’s breath caught when he got up, studiously put the glass of wine down on a side table and walked towards her. He took both her hands, turned them up and planted a warm gentle kiss in the middle of each palm.

“Let’s go to bed.” Jo inhaled a bit too sharply, and Loki smiled, tapping a finger on her nose. “You’re exhausted, and so am I. We can talk more in the morning.”

Suppressing the little bubble of disappointment, Jo nodded.

~~~~~~~~~~

Much later, Jo awoke suddenly, not sure for a second what had disturbed her. Then she heard it again, a whimper, and jumped out of bed, not even hesitating. She rushed into her spare bedroom to once again see Loki thrashing on the bed, his brow slick with sweat, his chest heaving and his legs tangled in the sheets. She moved closer and took his hand, knowing by now that somehow, her touch calmed him.

But as she took his hand, he startled her by pulling and she tumbled forward, yelping and landing on her knees on the mattress, her body half across his. Still mumbling, his eyes closed, Loki’s arm snaked out and grabbed her around her waist, pulling her down and flush against his body. Jo lay frozen, not sure what to do. But Loki calmed instantly. He was still trembling slightly, but he was quiet. He scooted even closer, his arm firmly around her waist, the fingers of his large hand splayed across her ribcage and his face pressed into the back of her neck. Gradually, his tremors subsided, and he mumbled again. At first Jo couldn’t figure it out, and thought it was just the ramblings of a sleeping man. But then he said it again, so quietly she could hardly catch the words.

“Please, let me hold you. Please.”

Jo bit her lip and concentrated on relaxing her body, but her mind and heart still raced. She was extremely aware of the warm weight of his body against hers. His arm holding her tightly but tenderly against the firm wall of his chest, and she could feel his now calm breaths tickling her hair. Gradually, she let her body take over and her mind drift. Giving in to the sensations and ignoring the thoughts, Jo became acutely aware of every physical detail. The pressure of his arm and his hand, fingers twitching slightly. The smell of him, warm and sleepy and surprisingly comforting, the sound of his breathing and the slow movement of his chest against her back with every breath. His one long leg pressed in between hers, the material of the sweatpants he was still wearing soft on her bare skin. Her mind soothed, she started to drift off. Her last half-formed thought was that whatever this was, whoever he was, she belonged here, her heart contented and her body pressed to his.


	11. Chapter 11

Jo awoke feeling overheated and slightly claustrophobic. She was snuggled under a thick winter duvet, and it was pulled up to her hairline. As her brain cleared, she also discovered that she was wrapped in long warm limbs, and felt moist hot breath in her neck.

Okay.

Gradually the events of the previous evening and night came back to her, and as she stared at the dust motes dancing in the sunlight streaming in the window, she continued to take stock of the situation. Loki’s arms were wrapped tightly around her, pressing her back into his chest. One long leg was draped over her hip heavily, indicating that clearly he was a sleep-cuddler of note. She moved slightly and …oh. Yes. She knew what that was. Well. That was not in the least surprising, she thought, it’s only natural, nothing to do with her, just… a morning thing. Slightly awkward though, she thought, but couldn’t help the little extra warmth she was feeling low in her stomach. Maybe she should try to get herself out of this situation. Yes, she’ll just very carefully extricate herself from the vine-like grip and get out of there. She had to do the right thing. The man was lost and confused, and she didn’t want to take advantage of that. It was probably her talent that made her extra careful about not taking advantage of people. She sighed a little with regret.

Then, carefully, she grabbed the arm that was wrapped around her middle and lifted. When she could just about scoot forward, Loki stirred, tightened the arm again and tilted his hips forward, pressing his hot hardness into the cleft of her ass. He snuggled his face into her neck and let out a low sex-saturated groan that ignited the warmth in her belly to a flame. Jo lay still, barely breathing, wondering what to do. Her body had very clear ideas of what it wanted to do, but her mind wasn’t so sure. Loki had stilled again, breathing slowly and rhythmically behind her. Just as she was wondering if he was asleep and if she could repeat her escape attempt before it was too late, he repeated the hip motion, making her draw in an audible breath. She felt his lips in her neck, kissing soft warm sleepy kisses from the nape of her neck towards her ear, as far as he could reach. Jo was frozen, and the situation reminded her forcefully of their little encounter in the kitchen, and her body’s reaction, the day before.

“You awake?” She whispered, and immediately wanted to kick herself for the inane superfluousness of the question.

“Mmm-mmm.” He responded, and she could somehow hear the sleepy contented smile in his voice.

“What are you doing?” Jo’s voice came out a little breathy, as the neck kisses hasn’t stopped, and Loki was now undulating his hips, rubbing his erection up and down her ass, making her heart beat faster.

“I’m kissing a beautiful woman.” He responded innocently. “You see, she was in my bed when I woke up,” he continued, “and she has got the most stunning body,” he punctuated the statement with a row of kisses down her shoulder. “And the most amazing smile…” The kisses went back up towards her neck. “And gorgeous eyes you could drown in…” the kisses started down her spine. “So I just…” kiss “…couldn’t…” kiss “… Help myself…” kiss.

By this time, Jo was almost purring, and the heat had spread to her extremities, and made her cheeks glow. Her breath was coming a little fast, and her body pressed back into his involuntarily. Her brain was losing the battle fast, but fired one final salvo.

“Loki…” she breathed.

“Mmmm…?” came the slightly smug reply, as a hand snaked up her torso, under her t-shirt.

“Shouldn’t we … oh… talk about this?” As she was voicing her concerns, the hand had wandered up until it encountered the soft skin of the underside of her bare breast, teasing lightly and making her lose her train of thought completely.

“I fail to see what there is to talk about at this particular moment Joanna.” He countered, and his fingers closed over one nipple, giving it a pinch and rolling it into a hard little peak, making Jo gasp. “Now, would you kindly stop thinking, and stop talking?” he requested, and pulled at her shoulder, turning her onto her back and coming up on one elbow, looking down at her.

Jo stared up at the mesmerizing green eyes above her, and her rationality gave up and retreated to beyond the horizon. Loki looked at her for a few seconds, his eyes flicking from her eyes down to her parted lips and back up, before his mouth descended on hers. Jo’s mind reeled as his lips closed over hers, hot and wet and demanding. He dominated the kiss, giving no quarter as his tongue darted out to trace along her bottom lip, seeking entrance. His one hand was tangled in her hair, the other still stroking over her breasts, taking turns to pinch and roll and stroke over her nipples until they stood at full attention, demanding more of his devotion, which he was happy to give. His hard length pressed insistently into her hip and his body half covered hers. She was helpless, caught, her core trembling with need. Loki continued kissing her, his tongue tangling with hers, breath mingling, his mouth alternately covering hers and sprinkling kisses all over her face, kissing her nose and her cheeks, traveling down her neck and back up again, lightly nibbling an earlobe and tracing his tongue down and along her clavicle.

Jo’s arms came up and she pushed her hands into his midnight hair, gripping it at the base of his neck and pulling him closer, wanting more, wanting everything. She stroked over the planes of his back, her fingers feeling out the individual muscles and tendons, tracing a roadmap of pleasure all the way down his spine, until her fingers encountered the elastic of his sweatpants, and sneaked under it to glide over the perfect globe of his buttocks. He moaned into her mouth and came up on one arm, using the other hand to push up her t-shirt until it bunched under her arms, exposing her breasts to his intense gaze. Jo hurried to help and pulled off her t-shirt, discarding it on the floor, her hands going to her shorts next. She was desperate to feel every inch of his skin against hers. Once she had rid herself of them, her hands went to his sweatpants, pushing under it again, flexing her fingers slightly and digging her nails into the large muscles of his ass, making him hiss. Pushing them down, she gasped as she felt the naked length of him against her hip.

Loki kicked off his pants, and continued kissing her, his large hands roaming all over her naked skin, his breath coming fast and his hips moving, rubbing his hot hard cock against her skin. Gradually, his hand drifted lower and finally found her hot hungry core. Jo cried out involuntarily as his fingers glided over her swollen clit and through her wetness. She was so ready, so on the edge, she could feel her muscles starting to flutter at his touch. Loki leaned back and looked at her, staring into her eyes as he pushed two fingers into her. His tongue darted out to lick his lips as he watched her face while he pushed his fingers deep into her cunt. Jo gasped loudly again and her eyes started closing, the sensation overwhelming her.

“Look at me Joanna.” He whispered, his voice rough and low with arousal. “I want to see your eyes as I touch you. I want to see your face as you come apart for me.” As he spoke, he started moving his hand, pumping his fingers in and out of her sopping needy hole, all the while watching her intensely as she moaned under him, trying hard to keep her eyes focused on his. He curled his fingers forward, hitting that rough furled spot on her front wall, and Jo’s back arched, her eyes closing again.

“Look at me!” He commanded, fucking her faster, and adding a thumb to her clit. Jo was having real trouble keeping her eyes open as she felt her orgasm building to an intensity that made her limbs tremble. Just when she thought she could take no more, she crested the wave, and her muscles clamped down on his fingers. Jo moaned loudly as her body seized and shook and her core pulsated around his hand. Loki drove her on mercilessly, all the while watching her with those incredible green eyes, his mouth slightly open, and his breath coming fast. Finally, Jo started coming down from the high, and Loki leaned down and kissed her hard and intensely, his fingers slowing down, carefully and caringly stroking her back down from her bliss.

Without breaking the kiss, he shifted, getting between her legs and wrapping her one leg around his hips. He ended the kiss and looked into her eyes again as he lined up and entered her. Jo watched his face as his large rock-hard cock slid slowly into her. She noted the fine little things, the way his pupils dilated and the slight almost imperceptible tightening around his eyes. The way his mouth was open, but he had stopped breathing. The way his teeth bit his bottom lip as her warmth enveloped the length of him. When he was finally hilted inside her, they both started breathing again, neither of them moving, Loki letting her adjust to his girth. He leaned forward and kissed her softly, tenderly, but with a passion that almost brought tears to her eyes. Then he started moving, sliding into her and out again, filling her up completely with each thrust, going slow and hard and deep, making her breath flutter in her chest, pushing soft needy little moans from her lips. Jo could feel herself building again, heat pooling at her core with every thrust. She wrapped both her legs around his hips and met him with every thrust, needing him to go deeper, harder. Loki picked up the pace and she could hear him slowly letting his control slip in the rhythm of his breathing.

Jo reached down and dug her nails into his thrusting buttocks again, urging him on, and he moaned her name lowly. She was clawing at him, wanting more, begging incoherently as he slammed into her faster and faster. Finally, when her breath was coming in ragged gasps and her cunt starting to spasm around him, she felt him let go of the last shred of control, his hips pistoning fast and erratically, his moans and murmurs becoming louder and almost unintelligible.

Finally, he stilled and erupted into her with a roar, his back arched, the tendons standing proudly in his neck as he bared his clenched teeth, his hot seed spilling into her. Jo looked up at him through a haze of lust. He was glorious. The sight of him coming undone drove her right over the edge again and she contracted around him, milking him as she clung to his upper arms, mewling and whimpering helplessly.

Loki bent his arms and collapsed on top of her, pressing his face into her sweaty hair, breathing hard. Jo lay quietly, enjoying the weight of his bulk pressing her small frame into the mattress. Her hands were stroking softly up and down his back as they got their breath back, still connected. Eventually, Loki stirred and slipped out of her as he shifted to lay next to her. Jo moved until her head rested on his chest, and she lay there, limp and content, listening to the slow steady beat of his heart. He pressed a soft kiss to her hair, his arm tightening around her.

“Thank you Joanna. That was truly a precious gift.” He said quietly, his hand stroking absently up and down her arm. She smacked him lightly on the chest.

“Would you stop thanking me?” She smiled, and felt a chuckle rumble under her ear. “Tell you what… How about we try to make breakfast without getting distracted like last time?”

She could hear the smile in his voice when he answered. “I’m afraid that might be impossible. Besides, I could get used to being distracted by you. In fact, I suspect being distracted by you could become my new hobby, since I can’t remember if I ever had them.”

Jo sobered a little at his light-hearted comment.

The truth was they have come no closer to discovering any information about Loki’s past. And she had an odd disconcerting feeling that things were going to change soon.


	12. Chapter 12

Once again, Jo sat watching Loki shovelling eggs into his mouth, and once again, she was amazed at the sheer volume of food vanishing off the plate. Having finished her own breakfast, she used her time gazing at the man across from her. For once, he was wearing a shirt, a plain blue v-necked t-shirt, one of the few he picked out himself on their shopping trip the previous day. It made his green eyes look a tropical ocean blue-green, and contrasted with his pale skin. Having cleaned his plate, he looked up at her, his eyes smiling.

Swallowing, he spoke: “Tell you what, you wash, I’ll dry.” He grinned, getting up and taking his plate to the sink. Jo smiled, knowing that the grin was pride at mastering the little detail about doing dishes, something that had perplexed him the previous morning. “Fine. But then you’re making coffee afterwards.” Jo countered. Loki nodded, excitement dancing in his eyes. He clearly loved learning new things, and Jo had shown him how to work the coffee machine before breakfast. He was eager to show off his new skill.

Loki was leaning with his hips against the counter as Jo filled the sink with water and dishwashing liquid, watching her silently. When his scrutiny became too intense, Jo glanced up from underneath her lashes at him, her hands still immersed in the warm suds. “What?” she smiled, feeling the heat rise within her from his gaze.

“Nothing.” He countered, non-committal, but the corners of his mouth turning up and little lights of mischief dancing in his eyes. “You’re staring. Why are you staring?” Jo worked hard at containing the smile that wanted to break through. Loki wasn’t even trying to hide the wide grin on his face. “I’m just admiring the view.” He said, lifting a hand and dragging a fingertip lightly down her arm. Jo shivered a little, but kept her concentration on the glass she was still scrubbing with the brush. When he didn’t get a reaction, Loki moved a bit closer to her and repeated the action, this time going up, his fingers dancing lightly up her arm and over her clavicle. “Well go admire the view somewhere else, I’m trying to do the dishes.” Jo tried, but failed miserably to contain the smile and the stronger shiver from his touch.

“But I like the view from here.” He said, and pushed his fingers into her hair, turning her head to face him. Having no choice, Jo abandoned the cleanest glass in the universe and looked into his eyes. She immediately knew that that was a huge mistake. The blue-green pools of his eyes mesmerized her completely, and she was drowning. When he bent his head and touched his lips to hers, she had no choice, no free will, no option but to part her lips under the onslaught of his. What started as a gentle kiss quickly escalated into something carnal and animalistic, Jo’s arms twining around his neck and his hands all over her body. Tongues battled for dominance and breaths mingled as Loki pushed her around and lifted her, so that she was sitting on the counter next to the sink. He pushed her legs wide and stood in between them, ravaging her mouth and making her breath speed up even more. Hands groped at clothes, Jo finding the hem of his t-shirt and breaking the kiss long enough to strip it off over his head. Loki, in his turn, did the same with her dress, whipping it off over her head, leaving her sitting on the kitchen counter in just her bra and panties.

His hand went to her core, rubbing hard over the cotton of her underwear, feeling the dampness there and making her groan and push into him. Jo was frantic, she needed him so badly her hands were shaking with it as she tried with limited success to unfasten his jeans. Finally, she managed to unfasten the button, and the zipper stuttered down, letting his already fully erect cock spring free. Jo tried to help Loki as he feverishly tried to get rid of her panties, but losing patience, he grabbed the material at one side with both hands and ripped it apart. Jo gasped and looked at him accusingly, but he just grinned and tossed the ruined garment over his shoulder. Then, he took her hips, holding her eyes, and sunk into her welcoming heat in one slow, exquisitely slick stroke. Jo’s breath stuttered at the deliciously full feeling of him inside her as Loki paused, letting her adjust to his size.

Just when Jo thought she couldn’t take it anymore, he started moving, pumping into her hard and deep, his head bent, watching his slick cock disappear into her hungry pussy over and over again. He looked up and caught her eyes. Jo gasped as she saw his eyes glint emerald green, and a mischievous and almost cruel smirk pass over his face. His hand went to her clit, and he pushed down on her button almost brutally.

“Come for me, sweet Joanna. I’m afraid this is going to be quick.”

He picked up the pace, slamming into her hard, hitting her deep, all the while frigging her little bundle of nerves mercilessly. Without warning, Jo’s muscles clamped down and her orgasm shot through her violently. She was still shaking and moaning his name when Loki stilled deep within her, spilling his seed in hot spurts, filling her, his eyes closed and his jaw slack. Coming down, they rested their foreheads together, both slightly out of breath. When Jo finally got her breath and her composure back, she kissed him on the cheek, then gave him a little push, jumping off the counter.

“I’m having a shower. You’re still drying the dishes and making coffee!” She tossed over her shoulder, sashaying out of the kitchen in just her bra. All she heard in reply was a slightly rueful chuckle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After they had both showered and dressed and had their second cup of coffee, they headed out the front door. Jo had come up with the idea of showing Loki where she found him, in the hope of jogging his memory. They made their way down the sidewalk in companionable silence, walking the length of a block to the alley where Jo found him. Jo felt a nervous knot in the pit of her stomach as they neared the alleyway, and she glanced around, trying to distract herself. She took in the fall leaves precariously clinging to the trees, a mom wearing a bright red scarf with a pram and a warmly wrapped bundle passing across the street, and the cars parked along it. The cars were mostly sedans, relatively but not brand new. Right across from the alley there was a large black SUV with tinted windows, which reminded her of the ones that the FBI drive in the movies. She smiled inwardly at her fanciful thoughts.

Coming back to the present, she saw that Loki had come to a standstill at the mouth of the alley. He was facing half away from her, looking into the shadowy mouth of the passage. 

“Loki?” Jo asked tentatively, going closer. He didn’t react or reply, just kept staring into the alley. Jo walked still closer, and when she rounded him, saw that he wasn’t staring. His eyes were closed. His face was slightly lifted, and he looked like he was trying to detect something. Instinctively, Jo knew to stay quiet as she watched. He was completely still, like a statue of himself, the only movement was the autumn wind tickling a lock of black hair against his cheek. The minutes straggled past at a snails’ pace, and she waited.

“It was here.” Loki startled her when he spoke, even though his voice was low. “I arrived here. I had come so very far. From another world. It was dark there. Dark, like the blackest shadow of midnight. It was so very cold, and I was so alone.”

His eyes were still closed as he spoke. Jo kept quiet, almost holding her breath, somehow knowing that if she interrupted, he would lose his tenuous grip on the memory.

“When I fell…. My…. Brother.” A faint frown line had appeared between his brows, and the corners of his mouth turned down. “He was angry, and afraid, he was weeping for me. And I let go.” His breath quavered on a long inhale. “I hated him. I let go out of spite. Out of anger and hurt and jealously.”

Jo felt a lump in her throat as she watched the emotions pass over his face like an old-fashioned picture show.

“He loved me, he wanted to save me. I hated him, and I wanted to hurt him, hurt them all, to show him that he meant nothing. They all meant nothing.” His voice was rising in pitch, becoming more earnest. “I am so far above them! How dare they think they can treat me like that? How long? How long did they pretend that I meant something to them?”

His eyes flew open and blazed green, locking onto Jo. His face was somehow harder, his sharp cheekbones standing proud as he glared his emerald gaze down at her.

“How DARE they?!” His voice had risen to a shout, and Jo took an involuntary step back. He looked so different, not at all the vulnerable man she had half carried from this very same alleyway. He looked… regal, dangerous. She had seen glimpses of it in the past few days, transient seconds of this… king.

This god.

And it frightened her to death. So she used the only defence mechanism she knew.

“Loki?” She spoke his name softly, and turned her power on in full force, feeling it blaze forth out of her, making her eyes glow a soft bright gold.

“Loki… It’s me Jo, remember?” His eyes focused on her, and his arm lifted with a speed that made her flinch violently. His gaze on her was still imperious and cruel, but she stood her ground. “Loki, you are not going to hurt me, are you?” she continued softly, keeping her gaze upon him.

His mouth twisted, his breath coming audibly through his nose, and he pulled back his lips, baring his teeth with an audible, frustrated grunt. Then he let his arm drop. And as suddenly as it had come, the emerald light faded from his eyes, and he seemed to shrink a little in stature. He looked down at his feet, and when his gaze fell on her next, the soft green slightly vulnerable eyes were back.

“Jo?” His bottom lip quavered a little as he looked at her beseechingly. “What is happening?”

Knowing that it was safe, that he, her Loki, was back, she stepped forward and reached up, putting her arms around his neck. His arms snaked around her, clinging to her almost desperately, pressing his face into her hair. His body shook with emotion as he just stood there, holding onto her like a lifeline.

“I remember. I think I remember who I am, what I am.” He whispered into her neck. “And I’m not sure if I want to be that person.” The sentence ended with a suppressed sob, and Jo felt the tears welling up in her eyes. She pulled away slightly to look into his face. His eyes were wet and wide, beseeching her. She kissed the tip of his nose, dragging her fingers through the silky strands of his hair.

“Come on. Let’s get you home.”

Turning and going back the way they had come, neither noticed or paid any attention to the large black SUV still parked across the street.


	13. Chapter 13

They had walked home in silence, and Jo could feel the weight of what had just happened pushing down on her heart. She felt like she couldn’t breathe properly, and for the first time, she admitted to herself that she believed him, believed him fully. She knew now that what they had found out was true. This was Loki. God of mischief. Norse deity. She believed it with a deep conviction in her soul, there was no denying what she heard, what she saw. She had seen the god, she had felt the power radiating off him in waves. She had been scared of him.

Letting them in, Jo went to the kitchen and put the kettle on for tea. Settling in the living room, each with a mug of hot sweet tea, they were quiet, neither knowing quite what to say. Finally, Jo decided that to try to get through to the man next to her. He was closed off, she could feel the walls around him, as if he had retreated to a private place where she wasn’t allowed. She looked at his where he sat, staring down at the mug in his hands.

“Want to talk about it?” she ventured, unsure of what reaction she was going to get. And at first, he didn’t react at all, in fact, it seemed like he hadn’t heard her speak. Just as she was about to repeat herself, he looked up.

“A lot of spaces in my mind have been filled, Joanna. There is a lot of information which wasn’t there before.” He paused, gathering his thoughts. “Some of it is insignificant, especially in my current circumstances. I like green. I prefer chicken or fish to red meat, which apparently is strange in my home world. I love to read.” His eyes pinched closed for a second. “I love my mother. She taught me everything I know.”

Jo could see that the last part was not as insignificant as he tried to pretend. She could see the pain in his eyes, and her heart echoed that ache.

“But some of the things I… learnt, are more significant.” He continued. He took a deep breath. “I was adopted. No, stolen. A spoil of war.” His mouth twisted bitterly, and Jo saw what she had come to refer to in her mind as the “other” Loki for a split second.

“That is the root of my … unhappiness. I found out that I was not my fathers’ son. That my brother is not my real brother. That the woman who raised me, is nothing to me.” He smiled grimly, bitterly. “It explained a lot, really. I was never good enough, always coming second, the black sheep, in the shadow of the golden son. It doesn’t matter, didn’t matter what I did, I was Jotun. I AM Jotun.” His breath hitched and he looked down, exhaling loudly. Still looking down, he continued. “I did some things. Terrible things. I hated my family, I hated everyone. I revelled in the chaos I caused. I savoured mischief and relished trouble.”

He looked up at her, his eyes wet and his brow drawn together.

“I don’t want to be that person, sweet Joanna. I want to be the person I am with you. But I am not sure if it is possible.” He wiped at his eyes with an irritated gesture. Joanna grabbed both his hands in hers, squeezing them hard. “Loki?” She said, but his head stayed bowed. “Loki!” She repeated, louder, wanting him to look at her. His head came up and he looked at her.

“You are here now. And you are the man I met three days ago. No one else. I don’t know why our paths crossed, Loki, and I don’t understand half of what’s going on. But I understand one thing. You are you. I am me, and this is now. And we’ll figure this out together.” She paused for breath, and Loki dropped his head again, speaking but not looking at her,

“Joanna, when we were at the alleyway, when I remembered, I wanted to hurt you. I wanted to lash out, purely to see what would happen. It’s as if I was a different person but…”

Jo interrupted him: “Exactly! It’s a different person, don’t you understand?”

“I DO understand!” Loki almost shouted. “That’s the thing, it’s not, it’s not a different person! It’s me! I didn’t black out, I can remember everything. It was me, and I almost…” He turned his face away from her, looking out the window, and when he spoke next, his voice was raw with emotion.

“They’re the same person. It’s me. It’s inside me, the anger, the hate and the jealousy. And I almost hurt you.” He looked up. “I don’t want to hurt you.” He said it very quietly, and the regret in his voice scared her.

“You won’t. You won’t be able to.” She said. She hesitated, trying to find the right words to explain. “You asked when we went to the professor how I did what I did, with the security guard. Can I tell you?” He nodded silently, still looking morose. Jo took a deep breath and started talking. She told him about mutants in general, the different powers, the different grades and factions. She touched on how persecuted they were, and how she tried to live a normal life, staying off the radar. She told him about her power, how it worked, and how it felt. She recounted being found by the professor, and how he helped her develop and control her power. She hesitated slightly before carrying on.

“When I found you, I had no choice but to use my power on you.” She said softly, and his head came up, looking at her sharply. She carried on talking quickly, before he could interrupt. “I’m sorry Loki, I really had no choice. I had to try to calm you down, to get you to cooperate. I turned it off immediately.” She trailed off.

“So….” He started, clearly trying to get his head around this new information. “You… influenced me, made me fall into infatuation with you. To control me?”

“No, Loki, not to control you, to help you. And only for little moments, when I needed to…. I’m sorry.” Jo pleaded, needing him to understand. It was quiet for long minutes, and Jo let him process, not saying anything.

“So…” he said again, “This, us… it’s your power? Is that all it is?” He looked at her, his eyes stormy, his face serious. Jo’s eyes went wide, she felt like she had been punched in the gut. She can’t, won’t let him think that!

“No! Loki, no, I swear, you are completely free, I have no influence over you at the moment, I promise. You can leave, you can do anything you wish.” He just looked at her, his face unreadable.

“Please believe me. What happened between us, what you feel, what we both feel, it’s real….” she trailed off softly. Somehow she knew, that with the combination of his guilt over his past, his fear of hurting her, and his doubt about his feelings for her, this was it. This moment was a turning point, the moment that would determine what happened to them from here. She found herself petrified that he would leave, for whichever reason, and in her heart she came as close to praying as she’s been since she was twelve. Somehow, in a few short days, he has come to mean so much to her that the thought of losing him squatted like a physical ache in her chest. She waited, hardly breathing, as Loki just looked at her.

Then, he dropped his eyes from hers and got up. In passing, he mumbled “I’m going to make more coffee” without looking at her, and moved into the kitchen. Jo felt her heart break a little. She understood that he needed time to think, and granted him that, but in her soul she was so very afraid. She knew with a certainty that stood steadfast in her mind that they needed each other. She could feel it in her veins, that this, the last few days was destined, meant to be, part of the reason for her existence. And it scared her. It scared her how fast and hard she fell, how surreal it was to be in … something… with a god from another world. Jo was deep in thought, the events of the morning and their discussion tumbling confusingly through her mind, when there was a loud knock on the front door. 

Jo jumped a little, jerked from her thoughts by the noise. Curious, and slightly uneasy, she went to open the door. Peeping through the peephole, she saw a man dressed in a dark suit and tie standing with his hands folded in front of him. His face was serious and his eyes hidden by dark sunglasses. Something about him made her stomach flip with apprehension, but she put it down to her natural distrust of authority and opened the door with a fake polite smile.

“Ms. Hart?” The man said, attempting a friendly smile but looking slightly pained instead.

“Yes, can I help you?” Jo asked, her uneasiness climbing a few notches.

“May I come in?” He asked, tilting his head, the uncomfortable smile still in place. Jo debated for about two seconds.

“No. I am sorry, but I do not let strange men into my house.” She said, giving the fake smile again, this one leaning slightly more towards sarcastic.

“Well, Ms Hart,” he said, taking off his sunglasses, revealing blue penetrating eyes, that nevertheless made him seem slightly less intimidating, “my name is Phil Coulson, and I believe that you did in fact let a strange man into your house quite recently. A very strange man.”

Jo’s heart froze, she could feel the squirt of adrenalin entering her bloodstream, and the hairs on her arms stood on end. Her face, she hoped, betrayed nothing, and she found herself praying for the second time in just a few minutes. This time that Loki was still sulking in the kitchen, and that he wouldn’t come to investigate what was going on. 

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jo said loftily, straightening her back and still holding onto the doorknob with a death grip. “And remind me, who did you say you were with again?” She continued, although she knew he didn’t say.

“I am with SHIELD, a division of Homeland Security,” he said, taking out a wallet and holding up a badge for her to see, “and we investigate strange phenomena, visitors, like what happened to you. We are here to help, Ms. Hart” He coughed, for a moment looking slightly abashed. “We know you have harboured the man I am referring to. We’ve been watching, Ms. Hart. We know he’s here. We also know he is extremely dangerous. We need you to cooperate, so we can take him in.”

Jo’s brain went into overdrive, and she knew she had only one option, one thing she could try. She looked deep into Agent Coulson’s eyes and smiled. Her power surged.

“Agent Coulson, I appreciate your concern, but there is nothing for you to find here. I am completely alone.”

She watched, feeling a small victory when his eyes glazed over and he smiled beatifically, a blush rising in his cheeks.

“But Ms. Hart, I just want to make sure you are safe. This man, he is not from this world, he is dangerous and extremely untrustworthy. Please let me…”

Jo interrupted him, speaking a little more forcefully this time, turning up her power. “Agent Coulson, you want to leave now. You discovered that there is no one here, and that it was a false alarm. You are going to go report back to your superiors, and tell them that the man you seek is not here, and that it was a false alarm. Understood?”

She watched him carefully. It seems that he was a hard man to influence. For good measure, she tilted her head to one side and gave him a pleading look.

“Please? For me?” Still looking slightly dazed, Coulson nodded, looking embarrassed.

“Sure, I understand Ms. Hart. I am terribly sorry to have bothered you. I will leave now. There is no one here, it was a false alarm.” He said almost robotically, and Jo knew she had him, for the moment at least.

With that, he turned and left, donning his sunglasses and walking down the garden path. Jo closed the door and leaned her back against it, blowing out a noisy breath and trying to get her heartbeat under control. Just then Loki came walking out of the kitchen. Spotting her, he stopped, a half-eaten biscuit halfway to his mouth.

“What is the matter Joanna? Is everything okay?” He looked alarmed, as if he could sense that something was very wrong.

Jo looked at him and made a decision.

“Get your things, we have to leave. Now.”


	14. Chapter 14

Loki stood frozen, his eyes wide, taking in Jo and her obvious state of distress.   
“There was a man at the door, he was looking for you.” Jo explained, and Loki paled, his already pale skin turning to ash.   
“How…?” He asked, but Jo interrupted him.   
“There’s no time, I’ll explain on the way.” She sprang into action, pulling her phone out of her pocket and starting to dial as she made her way to her bedroom. Loki was still standing in the middle of the living room, and she raised her eyebrows at him, pointing to the room he has been sleeping in. Understanding her miming, he turned and strode to the room. In the meanwhile, Jo’s phone connected and she sighed with relief.   
“Helen? Hi…. No nothing’s wrong, we’re fine… Well yes, actually something is the matter, I need your help.” Jo listened for a few seconds. “Yes, please, can you come over? I’ll explain everything when you’re here…. Yes…. Thank you.”  
Jo hung up, feeling a sense of relief and gratitude towards her friend. She rushed to her bedroom, took down a duffel bag and started throwing in things helter skelter, not caring much about the quantity or state of the clothes. Loki walked in with his meagre bundle of clothes and toiletries, and stood in the door, looking at her. Jo grabbed the bundle from him and threw it in a second bag. Leaving the room, she went through the house and collected a few other things, finally opening her wall safe and removing a large wad of cash and a tazer. In the meanwhile, on her shouted-down-the-corridor instructions, Loki was packing supplies in the kitchen. Just as she was moving towards the living room again, there was a knock at the door. Helen entered when Jo opened for her, stopped in her tracks, taking in the two people in front of her and the two stuffed duffle bags.   
“Okay….” She said, clearly wondering what was going on.   
“They came looking for him, Helen. The government, they sent people to come and take him away. I believe the word “apprehend” was used.” Jo could feel her cheeks colour a bit, because she knew that, despite trusting Jo’s judgement, Helen still had her doubts about Loki.   
“I can’t let that happen. I can’t let them take him. He isn’t the person they think he is.”  
Helen’s eyebrows shot up. “The government?” she repeated. “Jo…. Are you sure…?”  
“Yes!” Jo’s answer came out louder than she intended, and she lowered her voice a bit, taking a deep breath. “Yes, I am sure. We’ve discovered a few things since we last saw you, and I believe him. I also believe that he won’t hurt me.” Jo heard Loki utter a disbelieving snort, but decided to ignore it. Helen looked from one to the other, clearly deciding what to do.  
“What do you need?” She said finally, sounding slightly resigned. Jo grinned, even through her anxiety. She knew that she could count on her friend.   
They took a few minutes to decide what they were going to do, planning a means of getting away, hoping that Jo’s influence on Agent Coulson was strong enough for him to have withdrawn the whole unit which had apparently been watching them. Finally, it was time to leave. Loki followed Helen out the door, dressed in jeans and a warm hoodie, a baseball cap pulled low over his eyes hiding his long black hair and his features. Jo watched surreptitiously through the window as Helen and Loki walked nonchalantly down the sidewalk and got in her car, driving off. Jo fidgeted nervously as she waited about 15 minutes, then left the house, getting into her own car and driving off into a different direction.   
As she drove, she checked her mirrors constantly, making sure she wasn’t followed, and meandered without apparent direction through the quiet suburban streets. Finally, when she was pretty sure there was no one trailing her, she headed out of the city, and a little more than half an hour later, she pulled into a rest stop on the outskirts, getting out and meeting Helen and Loki. She hugged her friend first, and then walked into Loki’s arms. He enfolded her and pressed her tightly to his chest, planting a soft kiss on her hair, but not saying anything. Helen watched the exchange silently, her face unreadable.   
After another brief conversation, Jo explaining things in very condensed form to Helen, they parted ways, Helen driving back to the city, and Jo and Loki getting into her car and heading off in the other direction. When they had been driving for about 20 minutes, Loki spoke up.   
“Where are we going?” He asked simply.   
Jo glanced at him briefly. He looked stressed and tired, and she was reminded that it was only about three days ago that she found him at death’s door in the alley.   
“We are going to Helen’s parents’ cottage. It’s about 200 miles from here, hidden in the woods on private land. No one even knows about it, except the family. And me. Her parents are loaded; they have property all over the UK and the States. This is for when they want to spend time away from everything and everyone. No one will be able to find us there.”  
Loki only nodded, looking pensive. Jo glanced at him again, and knew she had to tell him what happened. She started recounting what happened earlier, describing the agent and what he said. When she got to the part of the story where she got rid of him, she faltered, remembering his reaction when she told him about her talent. She saw him stiffen a little out of the corner of her eye when she told him how she had used her talent on the agent to get rid of him. When she was done speaking and drifted off into silence, he didn’t say anything, and for the first time since they met, the silence between them was uncomfortable, stretching, begging to be filled. Finally, when she couldn’t take the tension anymore, she spoke.  
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked tentatively, but he kept quiet. Jo gave up, concentrating on the road, letting him stew. She watched the road passing under them, letting her thoughts drift as the scenery flashed past.   
“I don’t think anyone’s free will should be taken away from them. For any reason.”   
Jo jumped at the sound of his voice. And then she felt the familiar scratching of guilt at the back of her mind. The guilt that has been with her for as long as she can remember. It has always accompanied her talent, the fact that she knew she was forcing someone to do something against their will. No, even worse, she was forcing someone to want to do something, taking away their freedom of thought, their will, making them her toy, her subject. She was acutely aware of that, and the consequences it could have. Loki’s voice had been quiet, there had been no judgement in his voice, just a quiet statement of fact.  
“I know. And I agree.” She said quietly. “Can we talk about it when we get there?” She stole another look at him, and he nodded curtly. Jo bit her lip, holding back tears that surprised her. She wasn’t a crier by nature, but at this very moment, she felt like sobbing.   
The rest of the trip was quiet, Jo having switched on the radio in an attempt to alleviate the oppressing silence. Loki’s head was resting back against the headrest, his eyes closed. Jo couldn’t help admiring the long exposed line of his throat and neck, his long nose and high cheekbones in profile. Finally, seeing the turn-off to the right, she indicated and made the turn onto the small hidden away gravel road. Loki’s eyes opened at the change in surface, and he stretched his neck, straightening his long legs as far as he could.   
“Almost there.” Jo said, keeping her eyes on the narrow gravel track, concentrating on keeping them on the road. Loki just nodded, clearly still deep in thought. A few minutes later, they pulled up to a little cottage nestled between the trees. As Jo took it in, she thought that “little cottage” was actually not a very accurate description. Although it was not very big, it was modern and spacious, with large windows looking out into the trees, letting the light in.   
They made quick work of unloading the car and getting inside. Loki busied himself with unpacking the supplies they had brought from her house, avoiding her eyes. Silently, Jo joined him in the kitchen, opening tins of soup to warm and making toast. The silence between them was still there, but slightly more comfortable, accompanied by the mindless domestic tasks. Finally, they sat down to their meagre dinner.   
“I believe you.” Loki finally stated between bites, startling Jo out of her thoughts. She looked up into his eyes. “I believe you when you say you haven’t used your power on me except when it was needed. I apologise for my overreaction. It’s just….” He tore off another piece of toast and stuffed it in his mouth, chewing slowly. “I’ve done some terrible things. I’ve controlled people myself, took pride in my abilities, felt glee at what I could do, and make them do. Since… I met you, I understand the hurt, the pain I caused.” Jo looked at him, seeing the hurt in his eyes, the regret.   
“I understand too. I know the guilt.” Jo said, looking him square in the eye, her own eyes filling, but not backing down. “Don’t you think I’ve been struggling with it my whole life? I know that what I can do, what I have done, has consequences. The guilt gnaws at me every single day, for doing what I do, taking people’s freedom, their thoughts, their will.” She fell silent, not knowing how to continue, swallowing hard at the lump in her throat.  
Loki glanced up at her from under his brow, and extended his hand, wrapping his fingers around hers. There was a small almost shy smile on his face. “What a pair we make.” He said, and gave an ironic chuckle. “”I guess we’re more alike than either of us thought.”   
Getting up, he took both their plates, placed it in the sink and turned back to her, extending his hand. Jo took it and got up, walking easily into his arms, where he held her tight, his hands wandering up and down her back. They stood like that for a while, swaying slightly, enjoying each other’s closeness. Gradually Jo became aware of the thunder rumbling off in the distance, but gave barely a passing thought to it. Loki stiffened however, and lifted his head, glancing out the window. Jo smiled at herself, realising that the approaching thunderstorm made him nervous. Taking his hand, she led him to the bedroom.   
Getting to the bedroom, there were no more words. They undressed each other slowly, leisurely, both taking their time, touching and kissing softly, intimately. Jo felt a more profound emotional connection with Loki than ever before, and enjoyed exploring his long lean body at her own pace, stroking over the cool skin, the muscles and bones, mapping out little moles and scars, kissing every mark, every hollow. She felt a keen enjoyment in seeing him relax under her touch, slowly but surely giving himself over to her, his eyes closed, his mouth slightly open as he enjoyed her ministrations. 

When she finally straddled him and let him sink deep into her, their pace was slow and easy, Jo rocking her hips while holding onto his hands while they stared into each other’s eyes, the microcosm of their love-making enveloping them totally. Gradually, her pace quickened until she saw his eyes beginning to glaze over, his jaw jutting forward and his tongue darting out to wet his lips as his hips began to rock up towards her, wanting to go deeper, harder.   
In a few more strokes she came undone, throwing back her head and arching her back as her orgasm slammed into her, squeezing tears of passion from the corners of her eyes. Loki followed her into the abyss, placing his large hands on her middle and almost encircling it. He held her still as his hips stuttered against her, emptying himself deep within her. Jo collapsed forward, resting her head on his chest, and finally rolled over, snuggling against his side where he lay on his back. And with his long fingers trailing little patterns up and down her arm, she fell into a deep dreamless sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

Jo awoke suddenly, feeling disorientated, her eyes sticky with sleep. Her arm reached automatically to her side, but felt only emptiness. She sat up and rubbed at her eyes, trying to dislodge the cobwebs if sleep. In the almost complete darkness, Jo became aware of a tall figure standing at the end of the bed. The figure stood absolutely still, not moving. Still trying to get rid of the confusion in her brain, she mumbled:  
“Loki?” Licking her lips and clearing her throat, she tried again. “Loki? Is that you?”  
Now that her eyes had adjusted to the light a bit, the figure looked a little… wrong. Something was off, the silhouette looking larger, more angular, than it should. The shoulders look broader, and there was something about the head. Before she could voice any doubts she might have, he spoke, and she knew it was him. It was Loki, but not her Loki. It was him.  
“Hello, pet. Welcome to the party.” She was sure she heard a mocking grin in that voice.  
A chill ran through her and she automatically reached over to switch on the bedside lamp. Blinking in the sudden flood of light, she cast her eyes back to the figure at the end of the bed, and gasped.   
Loki stood there, ramrod straight, looking down his nose at her with those incredibly green eyes. He was dressed in strange, sinister looking clothing; it looked like some kind of armour made of leather and metal. Leather trousers and long boots was half covered with a long, asymmetric tunic with metal accents, and over it all was a long leather coat with wide shoulder plates and intricate detail at the sleeves. On his head was a golden helmet with long horns curving sharply backwards. And in his hand, he held a staff with a jewel of some kind at the end. He looked regal, arrogant, powerful and infinitely dangerous. Jo tried to control her breathing and think of what to do as her heart hammered in her chest.   
“Don’t be scared, pet, it’s only me. Me, but better.” Loki twirled the staff he was holding once, and moved closer, taking two rolling leisurely strides around the bed.   
“You see, I had another dream. One of the scary ones. And I decided when I woke, that the only way for me not to be scared, is to embrace… my other side. It seems I need him. The creepy Loki, as you like to call me.” He clawed his fingers playfully as he said it, grimacing and showing his teeth. “So,” he continued, strolling nonchalantly towards her, “with a bit of concentration, I brought me back. And you know what else?” he let out a low, gleeful chuckle. “I have my powers back. It seems the moment I decided to be… me, I was fully and completely me.”  
Jo sat frozen, mesmerized by him, the sheet clutched to her naked chest. She was, for once in her life, at a complete loss for words. She couldn’t move, and she couldn’t think of a single thing to say. She had to admit to herself that he frightened her. This was not the lost man she picked up in an alley. This was a god. This was not the sweet gentle man she gave her body and heart to. This was a very powerful, unpredictable man from an alien world. Part of her felt like pulling the covers over her head and hiding, and another part of her wanted to yell at him to bring back her sweet, lost man. But another small, hidden part of her was fascinated. The Loki she had picked up on the street was a very handsome man. But this man, this god, radiated confidence, sex and charisma so strong it was overwhelming. An undeniable force that attracted her to him despite the fear and uncertainty.   
“What now? What do you want?” She asked quietly.   
“Want?” He extended one long finger and rubbed it over his lips thoughtfully. “What do I want? You mean like world domination? Revenge on my idiot brother?” He was still pacing, and on his next turn he came towards her with more purpose. Coming to a standstill right next to the bed, so that Jo had to crane her neck to look him in the eyes, he extended the staff and put it under her chin, lifting her head even more.   
“Maybe I want those things.” He shrugged. “Maybe not.” He smiled down at her, the smile almost tender, almost loving, and for a moment Jo saw old Loki in the depths of his emerald eyes. “But for tonight, pet, it’s not about what I want. It is about what you need.”  
His words sent a shiver through her. Still not knowing quite how to react, she stayed quiet, not moving.   
He moved still closer to her, invading her personal space, intimidating her on purpose, until she involuntarily shifted backwards on the bed, leaning back on her arms. Loki brandished the staff, and Jo felt more than heard a curious slithering motion behind her. Before she could look around, she felt something cool and soft wrap around both her wrists. Panicking a bit, she pulled, but the soft touch was inexorable, pulling her backwards until she flopped onto her back. Turning her head, she saw that two deep green silk scarves had wrapped around her wrists, moving on their own, pulling her arms backwards and up gently but firmly, until she was sprawled on her back with her hands tied to the headboard.   
Breathing fast, she watched Loki as he towered above her.   
“You see, pet, you trust me, I know you do. Or to be more exact, you trust him. The… other me. But the thing is, we are the same person. No blackouts, no ‘the one taking over the body and the other one is gone’, just me.” He turned and walked towards the foot of the bed again. Brandishing the staff again, two black scarves appeared out of thin air, and wrapped silkily around each ankle, pulling her legs apart almost tenderly.   
“So, the whole purpose of this little… experiment… is for you to learn to trust me. To realise that I am one person, I am Loki, and I am the same person that I was last night.” His expression softened, and Jo’s “old Loki” was back.   
“I will never hurt you, Joanna. But you have to trust me.” His eyes were beseeching her, asking her permission, wanting her to believe him. Jo bit her lip and closed her eyes for a brief second. She was afraid.   
“Yes.” Her voice came out soft but firm, and she opened her eyes, looking at the strange, complicated, amazing man standing before her. And in front of her eyes, he transformed again to the stern god, his eyes flashing and a wicked smile curling his lips.  
“So then we start.” He said almost formally, and snapped his fingers, causing the bedside light to go out, plunging them into darkness. Jo’s breath hitched in her throat, her heart beating faster. She couldn’t detect where he was, or what he was going to do next. Then, she felt two cool hands closing around her ankles. Her skin felt hot compared to his, as if she was running a fever. Slowly, his hands started moving up her legs, stroking gently but firmly, his fingers playing over the muscles quivering under the skin. Reaching her knees, he moved his hands to the back of her legs, stroking over the sensitive spots at the back of her knees, making her gasp his name. The moment the word left her lips, his hands were gone, and Jo automatically mewled her displeasure.   
“No, pet, no sound. The moment you make a sound, I stop. And if you don’t listen, I am going to have to discipline you more severely. Do you understand?”   
Jo nodded, but then realised he probably couldn’t see.   
“Yes, Loki.” She breathed, and clamped her lips shut.   
“Good girl.” He purred, returning his hands to her legs, slowly playing feather light fingers up her thighs.   
He was going very slowly, teasing her, trying to make her break the rules. Jo clamped her lips shut and screwed up her eyes in the dark, concentrating on staying completely still and not making a sound. Moments later, she felt his cool breath on her hot centre and her breath stuttered in her throat. His hands had moved up the outside of her thighs and had settled on the fleshy part of her hips, gripping firmly, his fingers digging into her flesh. Jo held her breath, waiting, anticipating his mouth on her pussy. After a few seconds of unbearable tension, she heard a chuckle ghost up from between her legs.   
“What do you want, pet?” he asked, his voice laced with amusement. Jo kept quiet, not wanting him to trick her into breaking the rules. He waited a few seconds, and realising she was not going to answer, he gave her hips a squeeze.  
“You have permission to speak sweet Joanna. Just this once.”  
“Please…” she begged immediately, slightly embarrassed at how desperate her voice sounded.   
“Joanna, I have given you permission to speak. Don’t let me down. Use your words.” He sounded equal parts patient teacher and amused trickster.   
“Please, Loki, please put your mouth on me. Please make me come”  
“As my lady commands.” He said, and without warning, he was there, his mouth sealing on her lips and suckling hard.   
Joanne let out a yelp as her hips lifted off the bed, but he prevented her from moving by digging in his fingers, pushing her down. He broke contact long enough to shhhh her softly, before he returned to the task at hand. His tongue was relentless, then tickling fast and light, then stroking into her cunt slow and languorously. Jo bit her lip hard, sure she was going to draw blood soon, in an attempt to keep quiet and still. Concentrating on her clit, he massaged her most sensitive part firmly, his cool wet tongue circling and lapping, and Jo could feel her orgasm approaching. Moving his one hand, he pressed a thumb on her clit as his tongue went down, down, until he was pushing into her opening. Going in as far as he could, he fucked her with his tongue, stroking her inner walls as his thumb kept a relentless pressure on her clit. The pressure built in her core, until Jo felt like she was going to explode. And then, she did, her orgasm ripping through her and obliterating every thought in its path. She arched off the bed and groaned his name loudly, no longer able to keep her silence.   
Just as she was coming back to herself, she felt Loki move from between her legs and stretch out next to her. The silk that was binding her arms and legs loosened and slithered off, and she gratefully stretched and rubbed her wrists. Turning towards him, she noticed that Loki was no longer wearing the strange intimidating clothing. He was fully naked, resting his head on his arm, looking at her. He looked smug and satisfied, but she felt his rock hard erection insistently nudging against her stomach. He lifted a hand and stroked a curl back from hear forehead.  
“You okay?” he asked, his eyes earnest.   
Jo smiled, feeling completely sated and happy. “I am more than okay.” She affirmed.  
“Good.” He said shortly, his voice harder again. Getting up, he stood next to the bed. “Get on your hands and knees, Joanne. Slightly thrown by the mercurial changes in mood, she did as she was told, scrambling to her knees facing him. She just kneeled there, waiting to see what came next. She watched him reach down a large hand and grip himself, stroking leisurely from crown to base, his eyes hooded, watching her. Jo felt herself inner muscles twitch at the site, and her mouth watered. Still she didn’t move.  
“Do you want my cock in your mouth, pet?” he asked, his voice gravelly with desire.  
“Yes!” she said, embarrassingly fast.   
“Do you want to suck me until I come in that pretty little mouth?” he asked, stroking a bit faster, the muscles in his arm rippling and is stomach muscles twitching with tension.   
“Yes please, sir.” Jo startled herself at her use of the term. She didn’t even think about it, it just seemed appropriate. She was at the point where she would do anything for him. The effect on Loki was clear. His breath hitched and his eyes opened a little wider. He stepped closer and grabbed the back of her neck, shoving forward until his head pushed at her lips. Jo opened her mouth gladly and took in as much of him as she could. His girth stretched her lips, and she flattened her tongue, working her head back a bit and forward again, swirling her tongue around the tip before repeating the action. Loki’s hands were in her hair, but gentle, and when she glanced up at him, she saw him looking down at her, his nostrils flared and his jaw clenched.   
“Do you trust me Jo?” he asked, and not knowing why he asked, and frankly not caring, she nodded as much as she was able with her mouth stuffed with cock. Still looking down at her, his eyes became distant. Then, they flashed emerald green in the darkness, and Jo felt a weight behind her. Startled, she almost chocked and tried to look around.   
“Relax, Jo, it’s just me.” she heard his familiar voice behind her. Confused she looked up again, and Loki looked back down at her, an amused little smile playing on his lips.   
Then, she felt cool hands on her back, and when she tensed, they rubbed softly down her flanks, calming her. Loki’s voice came from behind her, murmuring low.  
“It’s still me, pet. Both of me. Is that okay?”   
Trying to get her breathing under control and deal with the surreal situation, she took a deep breath and nodded again.   
“Are you comfortable?”   
When he was sure she was ready, the Loki behind her glided his hands to her hips and positioning himself, thrust into her. At the same time, Jo gasped around the large cock in her mouth, and Loki groaned low and long. Slowly, Loki started thrusting into her from behind, filling her to the limit, retreating and thrusting forward again. The Loki in front of her was breathing hard, his hands tightening in her hair as she sucked on instinct. Jo was overwhelmed with the feeling of being fucked from both sides, her mouth and her pussy being filled with the same cock, over and over again. Tears were forming at the corners of her eyes, and she concentrated on breathing and taking in the blissful feeling. Loki’s breath stuttered and his hips bucked a bit, almost making Jo gag. He was close. Shifting her weight, Jo lifted a hand and grabbed his member at the base, closing her fist around his girth. Loki behind bent forward and snaked his arms around her, his one hand pinching a nipple hard, and the other finding her nub and frigging it fast.   
All of the sudden Jo came undone, her body seizing around the large cock in her cunt, milking him, and her jaw going slack around the one in front. She groaned as her body shook, her brain incapable of forming a single thought. Just as she started coming down, both Loki’s stilled, and a double hoarse shout filled the room as simultaneously his seed spurted deep within her passage and over her lips and chin. Jo almost cried at seeing him so fulfilled, she was completely sated and so so tired, and just as Loki opened his eyes to look down at her, her, arms and knees gave way and she toppled over on her side, both cocks slipping out of her.   
Through tired hooded eyes, she watched behind-Loki get off the bed and stand next to in-front Loki. They looked down at her with identical soft sweet smiles. Then, with a golden shimmer you could almost feel in the air, the two forms wavered and then merged, leaving one person standing in front of her. Jo scooted over, making space for him, and making it clear that she wanted him to join her. Without a word, he sank down on the bed, stretching his long body out next to hers again. He touched the tip of one finger to her nose, and then followed it with a soft kiss. Then he leaned back a bit to look into her eyes. Jo looked back unflinching.   
“You’re worried that I’m going to freak out and run.” She stated. A slightly haunted look crossed his face, and he nodded slowly. Jo stayed quiet, staring past his shoulder at a thin crack snaking up the wall. Finally, she spoke again.   
“You’re going to have to explain what happened. And how you did that.”   
When he realised she wasn’t going to run for the hills, he only nodded, seemingly bereft of words, and pulled her closer, folding both long arms tightly around her and holding her as if his life depended upon it. She felt him nod, and heard his breath catching a little as he held her.   
“I will.” He said, kissing her hair. “I promise.”


	16. Chapter 16

They were sitting on the porch steps in front of the cottage, drinking in the just risen sun and sipping from their mugs. The silence between them was companionable, their thighs resting against each other as they sat close together. After the events of the night, Jo had fallen into a fitful sleep, waking up often but then being lulled back to sleep by Loki softly stroking her back. Eventually, just as dawn broke, she had gotten up and started the coffee, pouring herself a cup and curling up on the sofa, waiting for Loki to wake up and join her.  
As the sun peeked through the trees and threw long dappled shadows on the grass, Loki finally spoke:   
“I was asleep. It felt so good to have you in my arms. But then it came back. The darkness. The very smell and feel of evil in the air, like oil on your skin. I cannot sufficiently describe it. Being lost in the blackness, the need of the things to drink the very life from you.” He paused, putting the empty cup he’s been holding down, and rubbing both hands over his face. Jo placed a hand on his arm, letting him know that she was there, listening. He has told her of his dreams before, and although she would probably never understand exactly what he went through in that place, her heart ached for him, for his fear, his despair. Taking a deep breath, he carried on.   
“I … struggled… I tried to wake up, somehow, somewhere deep, I knew it was a dream, and I wanted to get out. I was desperate to get out, get away. And then I felt it. I felt… him, flooding back.” He dropped his head, looking at his hands that were draped across his knees. “I felt my memories, my feelings, my… needs, coming back. Some of it is not pretty. Some of it I am too ashamed to tell you. I am a very dangerous man, Joanna.” He looked up, into her eyes, and Jo was struck again by how beautiful his eyes were.   
“But that’s not all. I also felt my power, my strength, coming back. I could feel the magic course through my veins, strong, pure, ready. I pushed, pushed back hard against it, against them, and I escaped. I woke up. But when I woke up, he was still there. I was still there. I didn’t feel like a different person, I just felt… Complete.” Again, he looked at her, as if he was willing her to understand. Jo said nothing. She wanted him to finish, to tell the story in his own words, his own time.   
“I knew that he, or I, scared you. I knew that you didn’t trust me, not fully, when I showed my other side. I suspected that you were probably going to be freaked out by my power. But I had to try, had to make you understand, and give you the opportunity to assimilate it all in your own way. I also knew that I had to keep you here, keep you from running, from avoiding. So…” He shrugged, looking slightly apologetic.  
“Hence the drama and the sex?” Jo observed drily.   
“Hence the drama and the sex.” He repeated, chuckling ruefully. “I knew if I could get you interested, fascinated, that maybe I’d have long enough to show you. That’s as far as I planned. The rest just sort of…happened.” He was still grinning, and despite herself, Jo felt a smile pull at the corners of her mouth. Not being able to resist, she leaned forward and kissed the corner of his smiling mouth. Turning his head slightly, he kissed her back. It was a soft, gentle, tentative kiss, and it ended too quickly for her liking. Turning serious, he spoke again.  
“I am me, Joanna. I don’t think I can change it back, even if I wanted to. But with you, I have changed. I was… evil. I was conniving, jealous, hateful, angry. I suppose on some level I still am angry. But since I came here, since I met you, I feel… different.” He barked out a laugh. “It sounds contrived and silly, doesn’t it? But you changed me Joanna, more than the memory loss, more than my experiences in that other dark world. I am completely Loki now. But with you. Can you take me for who I am?”  
Jo sat quietly as the question hung between them, blooming and growing and bubbling into something big and scary and threatening. Jo felt her throat constrict and swallowed hard at the emotion pushing up in her chest. Last night, after they had had sex, and Loki had held her the way she’d gotten used to in a few short days, she felt perfectly content. She felt sure about him, looking into his soft green eyes just before falling asleep. But now, she felt overwhelmed. A few short days ago, she was going about her uneventful life, content, happy, staying under the radar. Then this man came into her life, turning her world upside down, drawing things, thoughts and experiences from her like a maestro playing an instrument. She blinked as she thought that she had lived, truly lived, so much more in the last few days than she had in the last few years.   
But now…. Now, she wasn’t sure. Sitting in the light of day and remembering the experiences from the night before, she realised that the man next to her was… Terrifying. Terrifying and complex and powerful and human. She also could no longer ignore the fact that he was probably a threat to their world, and Agent Coulson’s words came back to her.   
“This man, he is not from this world, he is dangerous and extremely untrustworthy.”  
She felt like last night, she saw the real Loki. Yes, the sweet, lost man was still there, and although he didn’t hurt her, she sensed the violence, the danger, deep down. Thinking about it now, her cheeks coloured at how it had turned her on last night. She had been drawn to the danger, the barely suppressed violence in his heart. But now, her brain was catching up with her heart. Since they met, she had blindly followed her heart, trusting her gut instinct, and so far, he had not disappointed her. But now the god with his magic restored is no longer lost. Yes, he might be from another world, but he was powerful, and ruthless and there was no way for her to know what he would do next. Her heart ached a little when she though that he really didn’t need her anymore.   
The bigger problem, the main reason, crowded into her mind, and she could no longer ignore it. She had to let him go. After seeing him in his full glory, his true power, she knew, in her heart of hearts, that it would never work. A man like him would be content here on earth, living a normal life, staying under the radar, for a short while. But not for long. Jo’s very life and existence depended on her being able to keep a low profile. The world was not a place for mutants. Humans had a natural tendency to reject anything remotely different, we see it every day. What would happen if they knew there was a god living among them?   
Soon his natural state of being would compel him to action, and he would do something rash. Before long, she was sure, he would grow restless, tired of being confined by society’s norms, and eventually, he would grow tired of her. She was sure of it. He would chafe at his bonds, not being able to be himself, until he self-destructed. And it would be spectacular, probably taking down half a world in the process. And for this reason, Jo knew she had to let him go. No. For the world, for her own heart, but especially for him, she had to make him go.  
Turning to him, her heart so heavy it made it hard to breathe, she put it into words.   
“You don’t need me anymore.” She said quietly. “You are powerful again. And the human girl that picked you up makes no difference now.” She lifted her eyes to his face, and what she saw there very nearly broke her heart.   
Loki’s eyes were wide with shock, his mouth slightly open, his skin even paler than normal. Jo looked back at him impassively, hiding the pain cutting into her chest like shards of broken glass, knowing that she had to do this. She had to do it for herself, but mostly, for him. And for the world. Slowly, he started shaking his head, denying the words she had just spoken. She almost lost her composure as she watched his face crumple, tears springing to his eyes, his eyebrows going up, beseeching.  
“Joanna, please…” he begged, and Jo turned her face away, dashing a tear from her cheek with an impatient hand. She couldn’t handle the begging. Still facing away from him, she spoke, hardening her heart, preparing to break his.  
“Loki, I can’t do this. You’ve …. changed so much. I don’t know how to be with you like this.” Her words were greeted with silence. She wondered if the lie sounded as hollow to his ears as it did to hers. Finally she looked back at him, and it took all her courage. He was no longer looking at her, his face turned down towards his hands. His voice was slightly muffled but controlled when he spoke.   
“You said what we have is real. You said that you weren’t influencing me, that you weren’t using your powers.” He fell silent, and Jo nodded although he wasn’t looking at her, the tears now flowing freely. “Is it no longer real? Am I not the man that made love to you that first time? Am I a different person?” She sniffed and wiped her eyes, steeling herself for what she knew she had to do. Putting as much indifference into her voice as she could muster, she replied.  
“Well, I lied. I did use my power, because I didn’t want you to leave. But now, I’m not sure if I want you to stay.” Jo didn’t think it was possible to feel more pain than she was at that moment.   
His head came up and he looked into her eyes. Where his eyes were soft and vulnerable and beseeching moments before, they were now steely, the corners of his mouth tight. His face was a mask of pain and anger, but his eyes were still wet, and in the depths of them, Jo could see how much the mask was costing him. Slowly, holding her eyes, he stood up. His long body unfolded until he was standing before her, towering over her, the sweatpants hanging off his hips and the hooded sweater dipping low to reveal a few scattered chest hairs. His long black hair moved slightly in the breeze as he stood there, staring down at her. In the back of her mind, Jo knew why she was noticing the minute little things about him with such clarity. She knew what was about to happen. He spoke then, and Jo struggled to hear him above the thundering in her ears.  
“Truly?”   
Jo nodded, looking away again, unable to hold his gaze.   
“In that case, Joanna, there is no reason for me to burden you with my presence any longer.”   
As he spoke, a golden glow started at his head, for a second making him seem like an angel fallen from heaven. Slowly, the glow moved down his face, his body, right to his feet, and in its wake stood Loki, God of Mischief, in his black and green leather armour, staff in hand.   
“You have my eternal gratitude for what you have done for me. I thank you, and Asgard thanks you.” He said formally, his voice cold, and the ache in Jo’s heart intensified, if that’s possible. She kept her silence, just staring at him, no longer even aware of the tears streaming down her face. For a moment, she imagined, his face softened.  
“Goodbye, Joanna Hart.”   
And in a flash of green light, he was gone. Gone as if he never existed. Jo sat there on the porch step, not moving. The sun had fully risen by now, but she didn’t notice. She was numb, staring into the trees, tears flowing freely and unhindered down her cheeks.   
Minutes, hours, maybe days later, an insistent ringing got her attention. Only mildly irritated, she tried to identify the noise through the fog in her head. It was swallowing her, enveloping, suffocating. Finally, her limbs heavy, she got up, and noticed with mild interest that it seemed to be afternoon. Going inside, she checked her phone automatically, and saw 26 missed calls from Helen. Tossing it on a side table again, she sank onto the couch, pulling the throw tightly around her and over her head. She was so tired. She wanted to sleep, sleep until all of it went away, and she woke up in Loki’s arms. And with fresh tears starting, she drifted off to sleep.  
~~~~~~~~~~   
Startled awake by the phone hours later, Jo groaned, stretching her cramped limbs from sleeping in a tight bundle on the sofa. Her throat was dry and her eyes burned from crying herself to sleep. The first thing she registered was that there was a violent thunderstorm outside. Lightning flashed, throwing the room around her into stark light and shadow, and thunder rumbled continuously, every now and again rising to a level that made the cottage shake. Sighing, she thought she had better give Helen a call. She took her phone and looked up Helens name, pressing the little green icon. Nothing happened. Great, she thought. No service.   
Finally getting up, intending to take a shower and maybe drink something, she was frozen in her tracks when with a crashing thunderclap and a flash of lightning that made her hair stand on end, the door flew open, letting in the howling wind. Jo let out a little shriek of surprise and clapped her hands over her face. When she removed them again, her breath left her lungs and she staggered back a few steps.   
Filling the doorway was a blonde giant of a man, his long hair and red cape whipping in the wind and a large hammer hanging from one fist. He was dressed in metal armour, leaving his muscular arms bare, and he had a murderous expression on his face. They both stood still, staring at each other, until, in a deep baritone, he spit out:  
“Where in hells is my idiot brother?”


	17. Chapter 17

Jo was frozen for a few seconds, staring mutely at the apparition standing in the door. She knew immediately who this was. This was Thor, Loki’s brother. She had obviously heard of the god of thunder, and having accepted Loki’s existence, she knew he was real. Just exactly how real he was, was unexpected, to say the least. He was huge, one of those very few people in the world who managed to fill up more space than they should be allowed to. He didn’t stand, he loomed, and the fact that he was clearly furious made it even worse. Her natural instinct was to shrink away from him, but she fought it, and looked him squarely in the eye, lifting her chin defiantly. His shockingly blue eyes fell on her and he immediately entered the room, crossing it in two long strides. Coming to a standstill in front of her, he looked down at her, still frowning. Instinctively, Jo let loose her power, turning it on full blast. This was the best way she knew how to protect herself.  
“You must be Thor.” She said quietly, staring into his eyes and letting a smile play on her lips, willing him to submit to her power with every ounce of her being.   
He turned his head to one side quizzically, as if something about her puzzled him. The wind and the thunder had died down, and an eerie stillness had come over the house. Still staring at her, his eyebrows now lowered in confusion rather than ire, he spoke again, this time softer, and slightly gentler.   
“What are you doing?” He sounded genuinely perplexed. Jo redoubled her effort, pouring all her charm into her gaze. She needed him to fall for her, so that she could get out of this situation. But he just continued looking slightly puzzled, until the impatience crept back into his eyes.   
“Look, you must be Joanna. I am looking for my brother. I thought maybe he would come back here. I am not going to hurt you.”   
Finally, Jo realised that for some reason, her power wasn’t working. Maybe it was because she was so distraught, emotional, but it’s never happened before. Giving up, she took a step backwards, and Thor visibly relaxed. He put down the hammer in his fist next to a chair, and sunk into it. Jo collapsed back onto the couch, feeling drained. Looking at him now, she could see recent signs of battle on him. His red cape was filthy and torn in places, and he was covered in small nicks and scrapes. A dirty mark smudged over his left cheek and the exhaustion lay shallow in his eyes. Laying back, he closed his eyes for a moment, and Jo couldn’t help admiring the beauty of him. This is what a member of the pantheon should look like, she thought. He was the light to Loki’s dark, the sun to his moon and the golden day to his cool silver night. Brothers. And polar opposites. She understood now Loki’s envy, his bitterness towards his brother. His eyes still closed, he spoke.  
“I am going to take it that my brother isn’t with you. When did he leave?”  
Jo debated the merits of answering his questions for a moment, and decided that it doesn’t make a difference either way. He was gone.  
“He left early this morning. It must be more than 14, 15 hours ago.” She heard the resignation in her own voice. She was so tired, she didn’t even care anymore. Or that is what she was telling herself. The memory of the morning intruded sharply, and she winced mentally at the knife edge of pain.   
“He’s gone back to Asgard. It was for the best.” She continued quietly, not looking at Thor. A sharp intake of breath made her lift her eyes. Thor’s eyes were no longer closed, and he was staring at her with a piercing look in his azure eyes.   
“Joanna.. He didn’t go back to Asgard.”   
Jo felt her heart leap into her throat. She couldn’t help the mixture of hope and fear that bubbled up inside her chest.  
“What? That can’t be, he… vanished. He was gone, I assumed….”  
Thor smiled briefly. “Joanna, one cannot travel between the worlds that easily. Loki cannot return to our home without the help of Heimdall and the Bifrost. Loki is trapped on this world, until such time as the Allfather decides to let him come home. He cannot just leave.”  
Jo just stared. Somewhere in her brain, she registered that all that had happened in the past day must’ve affected her thought processes, because she was at a complete loss. Her brain felt frozen as she tried to assimilate this information. She had to admit that on some level, it made sense. Then the next obvious question occurred to her.   
“So… where is he? Where did he go?”  
Thor looked down at his hands. He looked like he was choosing his words carefully.   
“Heimdall saw him, about 12 hours ago, and summoned me to earth immediately. It was probably just after he left you.” He paused again, and continued quietly with the air of someone breaking bad news.   
“He was in the city Jo. It was bad, really bad.” Jo felt her breath hitch in her throat.   
“People died.” His deep voice was quiet and sad.   
Jo just sat there, staring at him with wide eyes, the shock robbing her of breath. Loki was still here, somewhere. He killed people. He caused havoc. And then the guilt ripped into her, sinking its teeth deep into her psyche. It was her fault. She did this. She sent him away, and …. Thor touched her hand softly, and she was taken aback at the gentleness in the large man’s hands.   
“Jo, no.” He said, as if he could read her thoughts. “Jo, this is Loki. You couldn’t have known him long, but you should know that he’s dangerous. This was not your fault. He is unbalanced, and volatile, and he does what he pleases, without thought of consequence. This. Is. NOT. Your. Fault. Jo felt the tears sting in the corners of her eyes as she looked at Thor pleadingly.   
“I sent him away. I made him angry. He was sad and angry when he left. And it was my fault. I did this. Me. I shouldn’t have ….”   
“Jo no! Don’t do this, please. This is all on Loki. He is the only one that has control of his actions. Not you.”  
“Tell me.” Jo said quietly. “Tell me everything.”  
With a heavy sigh, Thor started talking. It’s as if he knew that she wouldn’t rest until she had the whole story. He told her how Loki had appeared in the city, and had thrown a tantrum like an angry three-year-old. The only difference is that he is a 6’2’ god, with powers unknown to mere mortals. Thor told of blasts that shook the earth, abandoned buildings collapsing, cars flying, people injured in the flying debris. The horror on Jo’s mind mounted as Thor recounted the carnage. He had tried reasoning with him, containing him, but Loki in his rage, had only swept him aside. At the end, he told of two men rushing Loki, trying to take his staff away, one shooting at him, the other coming at him with a knife.   
“They were street criminals, Joanna, lowlifes. They had no idea what they were up against. I tried to warn them away, to take him down myself, but they wouldn’t listen. They kept coming at them, and he defended himself. He blasted both of them, they were dead in seconds.” He paused, staring off into the distance.   
“And then, he just stood there. The look on his face…” He inhaled audibly, and Jo suddenly felt sorry for him, for everything that he must’ve dealt with over the years.   
“He’s different, Joanna. There was no glee, no triumph. Only sadness. Such incredible hurt and sadness. I’ve never seen it before. All the fire and the fury had gone out of him. He came to me willingly, and he was crying. I… I didn’t know what to do. So I just listened. He told me about you, Joanna. He told me everything. Speaking your name made his eyes shine, despite his pain. The next moment they were there. S.H.I.E.L.D. They came to take him away, to contain him, and he was gone, vanished.”  
Thor stood up and started pacing, clearly frustrated.   
“And that is why I searched for you, with the help of Heimdall we located you. I thought maybe he would come back to you. You see, if Loki chooses to hide, not even Heimdall can see him. You seem to be his anchor in this world. But clearly, he has chosen not to come back.”  
Jo sat still, assimilating everything that she had just heard, the fact that Loki was still somewhere on earth, that his own brother was amazed at the change in him. That he killed two people. Unbidden, a random thought intruded, shoving aside all the questions and information swirling in her mind.  
“Why did my power not work on you?” she asked, genuinely perplexed.  
“I beg your pardon?” Thor asked, thrown by the sudden change of topic.   
“You said Loki told you about me. He must have told you that I am not exactly normal. So why did my power have no effect on you?” It suddenly was very important to her.   
Thor chucked, looking at her incredulously.   
“Yes, he did tell me. You have the power of infatuation. Anyone that look into your eyes when you are exercising your power, fall into deep infatuation with you. I understand it. But don’t you see?” He laughed again. “I am of Thor Odinson. I am of Asgard, and not of this world. Of course it’s not going to work on me. It will not work on anyone from my home.” He chuckled again, as if the fact that Jo didn’t know this obvious fact was hugely amusing.  
“So…” Jo searched for words as the enormity of the statement started dawning on her. “So it wouldn’t have worked on Loki either?”   
Thor huffed out an incredulous sound. “Of course not. He is a god to your people. He is from another world. No mutant power would affect him.”   
Jo’s brain still refused to fully understand the concept.  
“But I’ve used my power to calm him down, when I found him and he was lost and scared and confused, I used my power to help him … centre.”   
Thor shrugged his huge shoulders. “Well, it couldn’t have.” A small almost wistful smile came to his face and his eyes crinkled.   
“Maybe it was love at first sight. Plain old run-of-the-mill love. No magic. No powers.”  
Jo stared at the ground. Her mind, and heart, was in turmoil. Loki was still on earth, but he had vanished. He caused havoc and death before he did, and SHIELD was probably even more desperate to find him, as was his brother. It seems like he was even more dangerous than she thought. Her eyes filled with tears again at the next thought. He was only dangerous because she had sent him away, rejected him. He was never affected by her power, and every moment they had together, every time he looked into her eyes and she could see the emotion in his eyes, were real. Not caused by her power, but true and vast and more real than anything she has experienced in her life. She looked up at the blonde giant that was still pacing like a caged lion.  
“We need to find him.”  
Thor looked at her penetratingly, then he nodded once. He turned back to the chair he was seated in earlier, and bent over to pick up Mjolnir. Just as he straightened again, the door opened. Not with a bang this time, but swinging open gently on quiet hinges, and in the doorway stood Loki. He was leaning casually against the door jamb, his arms folded and a small smile on his face. Jo’s stomach turned over and her heart started thundering in her chest. But he wasn’t looking at her. His green eyes were trained on his brother who had frozen in the middle of the room.   
“Well, look at the bad penny, turning up where you least expect him. Hello brother. So I take it you have met the immeasurably talented and beautiful Joanna Hart?” His voice had a bitter, sarcastic edge, but Jo didn’t care. At that moment, she didn’t care if he was bitter, or angry. She only cared that he was there. And safe.   
Without thinking, she launched herself forward, the tears flowing freely once more. In a few steps she had reached him, and with a slightly surprised look, he caught her in his arms as she collided with him. Reaching up and throwing her arms around his neck, she kissed him, hard, holding onto him for dear life. Pressing her face into his hair, she whispered:   
“Please never leave again. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Please don’t leave… Please…”  
Loki said nothing. But after a moment of hesitation, his arms purposefully tightened around her, and he held her close, almost squeezing the breath from her. They stood there for long minutes, oblivious of Thor or their surroundings, clinging to each other as if both their lives depended upon it.


	18. Chapter 18

Finally, reluctantly, Jo let go, and Loki dropped his arms. Stepping away, she turned towards Thor, not knowing what his reaction was going to be. As she faced him, he lifted his chin and stared at his brother, his expression unreadable.   
“Brother.” He said, his deep baritone clear, but with a hint of tenderness, almost undetectable.   
Loki’s lips curled into a smile. The smile was filled with scorn, but couldn’t belie the deep love in his eyes, and suddenly Jo understood their relationship even better. Loki loved Thor with a ferocity that was maybe only surpassed by Thor’s love for him. But that didn’t mean he hated him less. In Jo’s eyes, the centuries of pain, bitterness and jealousy sat visible on his face. With mocking bow, he returned the greeting.  
“Brother. As I said, what a pleasant surprise.” He moved into the cottage, closing the door behind him. The quiet thrummed in Jo’s ears as the two brothers stood staring at each other. Not knowing what to do, she decided to let the situation play out as it will.   
“Loki, please.” Thor said, half lifting a hand. “Can we at least sit down and talk, for Jo’s sake?” His voice pleaded, and Jo thought it sounded strange coming from such an imposing, regal man.   
She also fully expected Loki to reject the offer with disdain and contempt. But once again, the strange man that fell into her life surprised her. Loki’s shoulders slumped and he swayed on his feet, and for the first time, Jo noticed the other things. He was exhausted, and resembled the man she picked up in the alley days ago. Dark circles sat under his eyes, and his skin was white and clammy. His armour was damaged, and she noticed that he no longer carried the staff. His hair hung in dirty tangles around his face, and his eyes were a bit glazed. She instinctively went back towards him, and when she put her arms around him, he slumped against her. Bracing herself, she took his weight.   
“Thor, help me.” she said over her shoulder, and the blonde giant rushed to her aid.   
Together, they managed to help Loki to the couch, where he sank down and dropped back his head, exposing the long column of his throat, his eyes closed. Thor looked at Jo across his prone brother, an unspoken thought passing between them. Thor grabbed a pillow and lifting Loki’s head, put it under his neck. Jo rushed to the kitchen and filled a glass of water, taking it back and shaking him lightly by the shoulder, holding the glass to his lips when he opened his eyes. He drank greedily, and when he had finished, he looked at Jo, his eyes somewhat clearer.  
“Joanna. I am so, so sorry. I cannot say that I don’t know what came over me, because I did.” He shut his eyes for a moment and shifted, sitting to get more upright. “I was angry, and hurt. I fell into my old ways, the ways that I swore to myself I would abandon forever, and I took out my anger on innocent people.”   
A single tear escaped as he stared into her eyes, running across his temple and into his hair. His eyes pleaded with her, wanting her to understand, needing her to absolve him. Jo felt her own eyes well up as she looked back into his soft green ones.   
“No, Loki, I am the one that should beg for your forgiveness. I sent you away, for the wrong reasons. I was trying to help, and I did it in the wrong way. I did this. I pushed you into….” Jo trailed off into silence as Loki shook his head more and more vehemently. She shut her mouth and looked at him, waiting for him to speak. Thor had sat down in the chair again, and he was looking at them silently, his ice blue eyes inscrutable as he watched the exchange over folded hands.  
“Joanna. I want to be with you. Since we met, that is all I’ve wanted. Even after all my memories came back, I was sure. I would give up anything to be with you. Everything.” His eyes left hers and found his brother’s. Jo watched as the two looked at each other. No words were spoken, but still, she felt as if a whole conversation were taking place. Thor’s eyes were warm and filled with a strange mixture of love and sadness. Loki had a rueful, sad smirk on his face as he looked at his brother fondly. Then, he spoke once.   
“Thank you, brother.” Not understanding, Jo looked from one to the other, nonplussed.   
Without a word, Thor stood up, moved towards Loki and grasped his outstretched arm just below the elbow, Loki doing the same. They looked into each other’s’ eyes once more, and though both their faces reflected their deep sacrifice, they smiled. Jo realised that this was a greeting of some sort, and understanding dawned. Just then, Thor turned to her and extended his hand. Reflexively, she put her hand in his, and he raised it to his lips, brushing her knuckles lightly.   
“Goodbye Joanna Hart. I will be returning to Asgard, but not from here. I will see to it that my presence or departure does not lead anyone here. I will speak with my father, and inform him that Loki will not be returning to Asgard. That his son has found love.” He smiled a brilliant, happy smile, and let go of her hand. He picked up Mjolnir and moved towards the door. As he opened the door, he paused and looked back.   
“Look after him, Joanna.”   
And with that, he was gone, leaving just the sound of the whirling hammer behind. For some reason, tears were streaming freely down her face as she turned back towards Loki. He was looking better, sitting more upright. As she sat down next to him, he turned to her and wiped a tear from her cheek with the pad of his thumb. She sniffled loudly, making them both giggle a bit.   
“You are going to stay? Forever?” she asked, placing her hands on either side of his beautiful face and looking into his eyes.   
“Forever.” He echoed, and his lips descended on hers.   
He kissed her with a barely suppressed urgency, his tongue invading her mouth, his large hands pushing into her hair, tilting her head to give him better access. His lips claimed her, his breath coming faster as she melted into him. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she was astounded that she had been willing to give this up, to let him go, after he had invaded, completed her life so entirely. But all thought was drowned out as his lips continued their plunder, sprinkling her face with kisses and continuing down her neck, kissing and sucking, his teeth grazing her skin every now and again. Jo was lost in sensation as his hands ran up and down her back with a firm pressure, pulling her body to is, surrounding her, filling her senses with the taste, feel, smell of him. Breaking the kiss, he stooped slightly and in one fluid movement, picked her up and carried her to the bedroom.  
In the bedroom, he tossed her on the bed where Jo bounced with a little yelp. She lay there, resting back on her elbows and looked at him. Standing in his Asgardian armour, he looked majestic, but the fire in his eyes was tender. He was not the forceful prince from the night before; neither was he the lost man from the alley. For the first time, Jo saw, and accepted fully, that he was both. He was gloriously complicated and achingly simple at the same time. The fire in his eyes was his love for her. Pure, unadulterated, intense, but tender. Slowly, Jo got up on her knees on the bed and taking the hem of her sweatshirt, took it off over her head in one movement. Holding his eyes, her hand went to the clasp of her bra and it fell free, her nipples stiffening immediately in the cool air. Next, she lay back down, lifting her hips and wiggling out of her jeans and panties. Tossing it to the side, she scooted to the headboard and lay back again, completely naked, her body and her soul bare, and waited.   
The look in Loki’s eyes burned brighter as he watched her strip, and with an almost absent gesture, his armour shimmered gold and vanished. Naked, he stalked towards her. Getting to the bed, he sat down and took her left foot in his hands. He raised it to his lips, and softly placed a warm kiss to her ankle, the touch so soft that Joanne barely felt it. Slowly, with exquisite tenderness, his lips moved up her leg, fluttering lightly, softly, his hands following, gripping more surely, but just as tender. As he placed her foot down and took up the other one, Jo felt her eyes well up at the tenderness and intimacy of the gesture. He was completely focused on his task, worshipping her, his beautiful face half obscured by his long black tresses falling across it. Finally having kissed his way up to her thigh, he shifted, carrying on across her hipbone, carefully covering every inch of skin he could reach with kisses. When he was close enough, Jo carded her fingers through his hair, stroking his scalp as he continued his slow soft advance. She was completely lost in the moment, her world had shrunk to the man that was touching her, kissing her body, pouring his love for her out over her skin.   
Finally, he reached her collarbone, and Joanne decided that enough was enough and grabbed handfuls of hair, pulling his face towards her and kissing him, trying to show him how much he, this, meant to her. He kissed her back with fervour, the urgency and passion and heat coming back, and she could feel his hot hard cock pressing into her hip. One of his hands snaked down, and Jo opened her legs, accepting his touch as his long elegant fingers stroked through her wetness, making her gasp into his mouth.   
“Loki, please…” she begged breathlessly. She needed him with a ferocity that brought the tears to her eyes again, needed him to fill her, stretch her, pound into her and claim her. And somehow, he knew. Not hesitating anymore, he positioned himself over her, his weight pressing her into the mattress, his arms caging her. Then, he entered her, his turgid cock filling her completely, making her gasp his name. Her eyes rolled back at the delicious feeling of being so stretched, so filled to the brim.   
Loki started moving, setting a slow determined rhythm, fucking her deep and hard, filling her over and over again, pushing little sighs and moans from her lungs with every stroke. Jo looked up into his eyes, and found him staring back at her, his soft green eyes focused intensely on hers, his hips moving fluidly. They held each other’s eyes, and Loki picked up his rhythm slightly, ramming into her a bit harder, the cords in his neck standing out with the strain. Jo lifted both legs and crossed her ankles across his lower back, deepening his reach and making her mewl in pleasure as she felt her orgasm approaching. He was hitting all the right spots with every stroke, and she knew she was not going to last long.   
Gripping his shoulders, she moved with him, rocking her hips with every stoke, feeling the quickening in every nerve ending, little sparks flying up and down her spine as her peak approached. And then, suddenly, she was there. She inhaled sharply as the wave crested and her orgasm slammed into her. Her hips jerking erratically against his, she screamed his name as she felt herself gush all over his cock that was ramming into her hard and fast. Loki was still holding her eyes, and through a haze of pleasure, she saw the small tightening of around his eyes just before his jaw thrust forward and he stopped breathing for an instant. Then he clenched his teeth and groaned long and low through them as his hips jerked and her rutted deep into her, spilling his seed deep in her body.  
Loki collapsed on top of her, and she welcomed the weight. His face was buried in the crook of her neck, his legs tangled with hers. After a few seconds he rolled slightly to one side, wriggling his arms around her and holding her tightly to his chest, her head nestled under his chin. They lay there for minutes, just holding on, both feeling like they will never let go again.   
Gradually the low buzz of Joanne’s phone intruded on her thoughts. She sighed. She felt contented and safe and at peace, and the last thing she wanted to think about was the real world. But she also knew that Helen has been trying to get a hold of her the whole day, and was probably frantic with worry by now. Kissing Loki’s chest, she disentangled herself from his embrace and got out of bed. Standing naked in the living area, she answered her phone, having seen that it was indeed her friend.  
“Hey, Helen…. I’m so sorry….”  
“Jo? O my God, are you okay, I’ve been trying to reach you. Are you alright?”   
Jo frowned a little. Something about Helen’s voice seemed off… Almost mechanical, monotonous. They’ve known each other since kindergarten, and she knew when something was up. Slightly distracted, she started placating her.  
“I’m perfectly fine, I’m so sorry I made you worry. I have a lot to tell you.”  
“I’m just happy that you are okay. Listen, do you want me to come out there? Is Loki still with you?”   
Again, Jo felt that nudge of strangeness. Before she could answer in the affirmative, Helen asked again, insistent.  
“Is Loki with you Jo, are you still at my parents’ cottage?”  
Trying to convince herself that she was imagining it, she answered.  
“He’s here, and we’re fine, thanks Helen. You don’t have to come.”  
“Okay, good….” She trailed off, seeming at a loss for what else to say. Then, she sniffed slightly, her voice wavering but speaking fast.  
“Jo… I love you, you know that, right?” she said, and alarm bells went off in Jo’s head. But before she could speak, Helen continued. “No matter what happens, just remember that I love you, promise me.”   
Worried now, Jo asked: “Are you okay, Helen, is everything alright?”  
The replied came hurriedly.  
“I’m fine, really.” There was another long pause, followed by what Jo could have sworn a muffled exclamation. Then Helen came back on. “Look after yourself, bitch.”  
And the line went dead. Jo stood staring at her phone for long minutes after. Her senses were on high alert. Something was about to go very wrong.


	19. Chapter 19

Distracted, Jo walked back to the bedroom, where Loki lay on the bed, his eyes closed and his chest rising and falling steadily. When she crawled in next to him though, his eyes opened to slits, and his arms reached for her. He pulled her flush against him, her back to his chest, and planted a soft kiss on her hair.   
“What’s wrong?” he asked, sensing the tension in her body.  
She was quiet for a few seconds, trying to formulate the words to describe what she was thinking. She couldn’t quite put the feeling into words. She had nothing concrete to tell him, and felt stupid saying “my best friend sounded weird and now I have a feeling”. She snuggled back into him, pushing her butt into his crotch and her back against the hard wall of his chest.   
“Nothing.” She said, and closed her eyes. Exhausted after the long, emotional day, she fell asleep, sleeping the sleep of the dead in Loki’s arms, despite the niggling worry at the back of her mind.   
Hours later, Jo woke up, blinking her eyes open stupidly against the brightness in the room. She realised that it seemed to be late afternoon. They had basically slept the whole day. Her hand went automatically to the sheets to her side, which was cool to her touch. She sat bolt upright, her eyes now wide open, her heart beating fast at the thought of Loki having left again. Then she heard the domestic clinking noises in the kitchen, and moments later caught the whiff of fresh coffee. Wrapping the sheet around her, she got up and made her way to the kitchen. In the doorway she paused, admiring the view in front of her. Loki was standing at the counter, his back to her, wearing a pair of tight black boxer briefs. Her eyes glided over his wide shoulders that tapered off to his narrow waist and peachy delicious ass, down along the strong thighs and perfectly formed calves to the long feet planted wide apart. She licked her lips and grinned. What a way to wake up. She cleared her throat.  
“Hey there…” she said softly. He turned, and his smile lit up the room, as if she was the most beautiful, wondrous thing he has ever seen. Walking towards her, he wrapped her in his arms, pulling her tight against him and lifting her chin to place a sweet gentle kiss on her lips.  
“Hey yourself.” He smiled.   
They stood like that for a while, drinking in the physical contact. Since they have been apart, it was as if they couldn’t stop touching each other, like a sort of validation that the other was still there. Eventually, they separated and went about getting coffee. They were mostly quiet sitting at the breakfast table, Jo picking at a croissant while Loki drank his coffee and watched her. Feeling his gaze, she blushed.  
“What?”  
He grinned, his eyes dancing wickedly. “Nothing…” he said.   
Jo huffed, getting up.   
“I’m having a shower.” She took her sheet, exiting the kitchen. Just as she rounded the corner into the hallway, she stumbled, the reason being that she was moving forward, but suddenly her sheet was not. Looking back, still trying to clutch at the slipping sheet, she saw Loki, a big grin on his face, one foot planted on the edge of the sheet.   
“Come here, little girl… I want to show you something…” he said, his voice ominous.   
Jo started grinning herself and pulled futilely on the sheet. Loki stalked towards her, placing his feet on the sheet and pulling it tighter and tighter, making Jo’s grip slip. Her heart beating fast, she realised that this was a new game, and she wasn’t sure if she was going to win it. His face was beautifully wicked, a big grin stretching his lips and his eyes following her every move from below lowered brows. Suddenly, Jo dropped the sheet and made a run for it, flying down the hallway naked, giggling all the way. Reaching the bedroom, she darted through the door and tried to close it behind her, but it connected to a solid shoulder as Loki stopped it. Squealing, she ran around, placing the bed between them. Loki stalked, looking graceful like a big cat as he called to her softly, almost purring.   
“Little girl…. Don’t make this difficult for both of us….” Jo felt arousal starting to build in her lower abdomen, enjoying the game. Loki darted out his tongue, licking his lips. “You know you want it little girl… Come to me…”  
And then he pounced, his long legs carrying him over the bed and his arms wrapping around her, tumbling them backwards on the bed and making Jo squeak in surprise. The moment they were horizontal, with her trapped in his arms, he began a sweet assault, kissing and nipping and biting her all over, making her moan. She was immediately ready for him, and she could feel his readiness pressing into her side. Their caresses and kisses were playful but urgent, and within minutes, he mounted her and sunk into her warm wetness with a drawn out groan.   
Jo wrapped her legs around his hips, locking her ankles behind him and hung onto his shoulders for dear life as he rode her hard and fast. Her orgasm crashed into her almost immediately, surprising her and stealing the breath from her lungs. Loki followed a few seconds later, grunting her name as his teeth clenched and he spurted deep and hot inside her. His head drooped to her shoulder and she took his weight gratefully as he lay on top of her. Eventually, she decided she would like to breathe properly and prodded him lightly in the shoulder, making him move. Rolling off her he draped an arm and a leg across her, his big hand relaxed on her breast.   
“So… about that coffee...” Jo murmured, eliciting a low chuckle and a sleepy “Mmmm…”   
Later, they were back in the kitchen, Jo contentedly folding her hands around the warm cup. They weren’t talking, the silence comfortable and content as Loki busied himself making scrambled eggs and toast. Jo lazily thought that he was a fast learner, and apparently an instinctively good cook. It made her smile, thinking about a future filled with lazy breakfasts made by a beautiful man. Glancing out the window at the failing sun, she decided that she didn’t care what time of the day that breakfast is either.  
Slowly, a noise wormed its way into her consciousness, effectively scattering her daydreams. It was a low rumble on the edge of hearing, coming and going almost imperceptibly. Cocking an ear, Jo listened, trying to figure out what it was. Loki had also stilled, listening, his stance betraying his tense muscles. The rumbling continued, sometimes sounding like a far-away booming, then going quiet again. Loki turned towards her to check if she had heard. Jo nodded slightly, and murmured “Thor?” But Loki only shook his head, saying nothing. The next moment, Jo’s phone rang, making her jump. Checking the screen, she saw that it was Helen. Slightly annoyed, she answered.  
“Helen, hi, can I call y….” But her sentence was cut off when she heard her friends ragged breathing at the other end. Then, Helen spoke, her voice low and hurried.   
“Jo, no time. I’m sorry. I didn’t have a choice. But I can’t…” She took a deep breath, obviously trying to get her breathing under control. Then, she spoke words that made Joanne’s blood run cold.   
“Jo, run. I’m so so sorry. Just run, get out of th….”   
And with a muffled shout and what sounded like a blow, the phone went dead. Jo gasped and her eyes went immediately to Loki, who was still listening, tense and ready. He had caught the gist of the call, and the colour had drained from his face. At the same time that Jo realised it on her own, he said: “It’s cars.” His nostrils flared and his eyes went steely.   
“They’re coming. They’re coming for me.”   
The words had hardly left his mouth when the quaint cottage-paned backdoor exploded inwards, showering Loki with bits of wooden frame and glass. In an instant, he was dressed in full armour, his power flashing bright as he made the transformation. Two burly agents rushed through the door, dressed in black combat gear, their faces painted black and green. Loki took out the first one with a bolt of pure energy from his hand, whipping around to confront the other one, but Jo had already taken him out, her power mesmerizing him enough for her to punch him hard in the side of the head, felling him like a tree.  
Within seconds, they heard more explosions to the front of the house, indicating that the agents were entering the house at every point, closing in, trapping them. Loki grabbed Jo’s hand and she followed him without urging, running out the shattered back door into the shifty half-light of early evening. It was hard to see, but it seemed to Jo that there were movements, threats, all around them. The low rumble was getting very close, and she knew that if they didn’t get away now, there will be no escape later. Loki still dragging her by the hand, they made for the trees, but the next moment they were surrounded, agents popping up seemingly out of nowhere. Loki took out two within seconds, Jo making herself count, not backing down, her martial arts training kicking in. They stood back to back, Jo fighting physically and using her powers when given a chance, Loki blasting agents with bolts of energy , and even punching a few when they got too close. Jo was on autopilot, in survival mode, not thinking, just doing, taking down agents as they came. She took one or two punches and got grabbed once, but freed herself by biting down hard on the arm encircling her, drawing blood.  
The fight went on, feeling endless to Jo. There were too many of them, and even with a god on her side, she was tiring. Her teeth clenched, she kicked and punched, twirled and ducked, Loki doing the same next to her. But every agent they took down, seemed to be replaced by two more. When SHIELD decided to come for them, they went all out. That thought was reinforced when finally the low rumble they’d been hearing all along materialised into the angry snarl of SUV’s, at least six of them, coming down the road, two more out of the trees to the other side. Before they could even react though, the downdraft of a helicopter swirled Jo’s hair around her. Then, they heard a voice. It was Coulson’s.  
“Loki Laufison, We do not want to hurt you or the girl. We want to settle this amicably. If you stand down and come with us, no one will get hurt.”  
Loki looked up at Coulson half hanging out of the open helicopter door, his lips drawn back in a feral snarl, his hair whipping wildly in the wind. The agents around them had backed off, and Loki opened his mouth to shout something back.   
With a suddenness that knocked the breath from her lungs, everything froze. All noise ceased, the agents around them stood like statues, and the rotors of the helicopter stopped moving, causing it to hang eerily in mid-air with no visible means to stay there. Curiously, Jo turned in a circle, looking at the quiet, still world, her mouth hanging open. She lifted a hand and poked at a leaf that hung in front of her face, motionless.  
“Joanna.”  
The voice was quiet but filled with authority. And very familiar. She gasped in surprise when she realised the voice was inside her head, not coming audibly through her ears.   
“Professor? What’s going on? What are you doing here?”  
There was a moment of silence before he replied.   
“Your friend Helen contacted me and told me that you might be in trouble. She was hysterical, repentant.” He was quiet for a second. “She didn’t have a choice, Joanna. They forced her to reveal your location. As soon as she got away, she came straight to me.”   
Before Jo could interrupt with her thoughts, she saw movement at the edge of the clearing. The professor came gliding out in his chair, and Jo almost cried seeing him. Then, she saw more movement, and squinting against the failing light, she started recognising what she was seeing. She saw the bright white of Ororo’s hair, the flash of Logan’s claws as he stepped forward and the typical flashing smoke of Kurt’s sudden apparition. Looking up, she saw Angel perched in a tree, his wings folded back as he grinned at her.   
“We came as soon as we could. But I don’t think this is any way to solve this my child.”   
Jo bristled at the use of the nickname, but kept her thoughts to herself. Instead, she exhaled loudly and smiled half-heartedly at everyone.   
“Thank you, professor for coming. Together, we can beat them, we can save Loki, get away.”  
She looked on as the professor smiled sadly.   
“That’s not why I’m here, Jo. I’m here just to talk to you.”  
She just stared, her heart dropping to her knees. She felt Loki’s hand taking hers, and she tightened her fingers around his almost painfully. She didn’t know what the professor had in mind, but suddenly her gut feeling kicked in again, and she felt decidedly less hopeful than a few seconds ago.   
She felt the professor’s presence inside her mind again, and the resentment pushed up into her throat automatically. His presence took on a soothing, placating tinge, and she felt him trying to calm her. That was bad news, she thought. This is not the way it’s supposed to end.


	20. Chapter 20

Jo stood still, her hand still clutching Loki’s, the world suspended and eerily still around them. She still felt the professor’s presence in her mind, trying to calm her. Instinctively, she resisted him, pushing back, not wanting calm, wanting to fight. She felt a single tear streak down her cheek and blinked defiantly. Speaking aloud, she addressed Professor X.   
“Professor, why did you come here. If you didn’t come to fight by my side, why did you come? Why are you here with your best soldiers?”   
She let go of Loki’s hand and strode towards the group at the edge of the trees. Professor Xavier sat looking at her, his face expressionless, except for the pull of sympathy around his eyes. For some reason, the sympathy in his eyes made her irrationally angry at him. The uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach grew into a knot of tension. Her eyes flicked to the other people in the trees. As she looked at him, Logan’s claws quietly retracted. Ororo stood with her arms folded, and Kurt leant against a tree, looking down at his hands. Angel sat on a branch, swinging his legs and ruffling his feathers once. There was a small smile on his handsome face, but he too avoided her eyes.   
The professor maneuvered his chair a bit closer to her and lifted his hands in a gesture of peace, showing her his palms as he spoke again.   
“Joanne, I brought these people because they wouldn’t let me come alone. They are not my soldiers. They are my friends.” He smiled slightly. “They are also your friends. As am I.”  
Jo felt the corners of her mouth still turned down with mulish defiance, but her heart softened a little at his words. It was true, these people were her friends. Ororo taught her all she knew about hand to hand combat. Logan was the one who gruffly told her to get on the bike, only to take her on secret joyrides into the country. Kurt, holding her tight, apparated them out of school on many occasions to go out on the town to drink and socialise, never spending a cent as Jo charmed perfect strangers to buy round after round of drinks. She almost smiled as she looked up at Angel and remembered how he talked her through nights of tears and loneliness and frustration, telling her of his own journey.   
But still, she worried. She felt Loki’s presence behind her, knowing he’s there without looking round and without touch. He was such a large part of her life now. Suddenly, like a summer storm, he had come and blotted out the dreary normal day of her existence, filling it both with rolling thunder and lightning that seared your eyes and singed the air. But he also brought into her barren existence soothing rain. Growth. Purpose. She could not go back to that. She would not let them take him from her, draining her life of colour and sound again. Taking a deep breath, she asked again.   
“Why are you here, professor?”   
Professor Xavier mirrored her action, taking a deep breath of his own. When he looked at her, there was still sympathy in his eyes, but also a steely determination.   
“I have come to speak with you Jo, to tell you what you unfortunately have to do.”  
Jo went cold, feeling as if all the blood had been drained out of her body. She gasped in a shallow breath and closed her eyes briefly.  
“What do you mean, professor?”  
Her own voice sounded far away and alien to her. She could hear her heartbeat in her own ears, pounding, warning her that what was about to happen was wrong, her instincts, body and mind already kicking against it. The professor had finally dropped his eyes, and when he looked up at her again, his eyes were shimmering with emotion.   
“You have to let him go, Jo.”  
He was not speaking out loud, but directly to her mind. Maybe he thought it would soften the blow. And to her own disbelief, Jo didn’t react. She was somehow not surprised at his words, like she knew it was coming on some level, and she fully expected to lose it. To rage and scream and swear and cry.   
But she didn’t. She said one word. Out loud, but quietly, and she could feel the calm, stony determination behind it.   
“No.”  
Professor Xavier closed his eyes, possibly in resignation. He must have known that coming here, saying those words, would probably start a fight. That what he was doing would change his relationship with Jo profoundly and irreparably. And that made Jo realise that what he was doing, whatever his reasons were, must be very important for him to take that risk. This was not something that he took on lightly. Finally, he spoke again, his voice wistful and emotive.   
“Joanna, please believe me, I realise that…”  
But she didn’t let him finish. Without thinking, she started mentally barraging him, throwing at him images of Loki, of her, together. Thoughts and feelings made visible, pouring all of her love and passion into it. She tried to show him the extent of her love for Loki, how in a few short days he had taken her heart in his hands and was holding it fast. She imagined, or tried to imagine how she would feel if Loki was taken away from her and threw the images at him mentally, seeing his face crumple under the anguish of it, brutally twisting the knife, showing him the hurt, the loss, the indescribable pain. He tried to speak, but she wouldn’t let him, concentrating on the mental images while tears streaked down her cheeks unnoticed. Finally, he raised his voice, and with his exclamation a mental shockwave went through her, feeling like an impact in the air, although everything was still suspended in time around them.  
“Jo STOP!” he shouted, his voice thundering through them all, making her jump and shut off the mental stream she was bombarding him with abruptly. She stood there, breathing hard, feeling almost physically exhausted, her shoulders slumping. Softly, inside her head, she heard his voice again.   
“Joanna, look. Listen.”  
And with infinite care, he took up the threads of her angry violent thought stream she had directed at him, and carried on. He showed her pictures of her and Loki again, but this time it was slightly different, and Jo realised he was showing her their future, or more accurately, their could have been. They were happy, deliriously happy, content. But it all had a slightly wistful undertone, a feeling of what might have been, instead of what is going to be. Jo felt her tears start afresh as a smile curled her mouth. She couldn’t help being caught up in the images, the feelings they evoked.   
But then, it turned. In her mind’s eye, slowly, Jo saw it going, slipping away, like a cloud passing in front of the sun, dark shadowy figures appearing on the fringes of the images. She felt the fear, the protectiveness, knowing that they were coming for her, for him, and when she heard a faint cry like that of a small child on the wind, she knew that they came to take her family. Hearing an audible gasp at her side, she realised that Loki was seeing the same things, that the professor was projecting to them both, and somehow, maybe because he wished it, Loki could see it.   
Frozen in horror, Jo watched as the images changed to not only include them, but more and more people, a few dozen growing to crowds of people. Normal people, men, women and children, threatened, running, screaming. There was fire, smoke, absolute chaos, it got worse. She tried to shy away, but the professor held her mind in a steely grip, bombarding them with the horror and carnage he was carefully constructing, showing her what could happen, what would most probably happen, if Loki stayed. Jo swayed under the grief as she saw scores of people going down, fighting, falling, screaming, dying, humans and mutants alike under the reign of Them. Loki’s monsters in the dark.   
She knew then, with a heart slowly shattering into a thousand pieces, that They would come for him, that her Loki would never be safe on earth, on this tiny, blue, ignorant world called Midgard. They would come for him, and in their violent nature, they would destroy. They wold hack to pieces everything she held dear, they would kill and maim and slaughter for pleasure if They come here. And if Loki stays, they will come. That is what the Professor was working so hard to show her. Her tears were flowing freely, and her back was bent under the misery and bloodshed in her mind’s eye. She was so broken, she didn’t even realise that it had stopped. Mercifully, it had stopped, and eventually, she lifted her head to look at the kindly old man sitting in the chair in front of her. He was looking at her with worlds of love and kindness in his wise eyes, his own cheeks stained wet, like hers.   
“Joanna, I am so, so sorry.” He whispered, using his voice, breaking the absolute silence around them.   
His voice was soft, and as filled with grief as her heart. She understood that he had had no choice, that she would not have listened to him if he had tried to explain it to her with words. His words would not have been enough to make her understand. She knew that, and she forgave him. The rest of the X-men stood with their heads bowed, as if they had just witnessed a death of particular pain and significance. She looked at each of them individually, knowing that they had probably volunteered to come, to witness this, her world, her dreams, ripped away from her. She loved them for that, each and every one.   
Wiping her face, she turned to Loki, who stood at her side, still and quiet, his hand loosely in hers. When she looked up into his eyes, she saw there that particular brand of sadness that had no future, and no past. The flat black despair that sat like a monster crouching in the dark. He knew. And he knew that she knew. There was no hope. There was to be no “until we meet again.” He would leave this world, forever. He would take his smile and his eyes, his new found lust for life and his love for this mutant girl with him. Back to Asgard, never to return. Slowly, his hand came up, and very softly, he touched one finger to her cheek, wiping away the wetness there. His own eyes were wet, but a smile pulled at the corners of his mouth.   
“I love you Joanna Elizabeth Hart.” He said, so softly that no one but her could hear.   
Smiling slightly herself, and feeling curiously at peace, she mirrored the gesture, touching his cool skin and rubbing her thumb over the sharp bone of his cheek.  
“I love you, Loki of Asgard.” She said, her voice hardly wavering.  
Without another word, he turned and walked away from her, back to where the helicopter hung motionless in the air, Agent Coulson frozen with the loudspeaker mic to his mouth. He came to a stop underneath the aircraft and turned his head, looking back at her as the professor released the scene back into reality. Assaulted by noise and chaos once more, Joanne stood still, she now being the motionless one amid the bedlam. She felt strangely calm and disconnected as she watched Loki get into the helicopter, the agent giving him a long stare before slapping him on the shoulder with a rueful look.   
As the helicopter took off and banked sharply away with its blades chopping the air into chunks of chaotic noise, she had one last look at the god who changed her forever. When she turned back, the X-men had gone, leaving her to her grief. Slowly, she walked towards the cabin, and getting there, she wordlessly and mechanically packed her things and left. Back to life. Back to her normal, no-ripples existence.   
It was better this way.


	21. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is it. This is the ending, thank you so much for everyone that had gone on this journey with me. Much Love.

Jo is pissed off. Not irritated or annoyed, seriously pissed off. It’s been six months since what she now referred to in her mind as the “happening”.  
In the last six months, she had gone from the initial dead feeling of loss to the screaming rage of rejection. She had moved on from there to the weeks of crying of sadness and longing, ignoring everything and everyone around her, until Logan had pitched up at her door and took her drinking, carrying her to her bed at 3am and tucking her in, laying on top of the covers next to her, holding her as she cried her last tears. From there, she had finally arrived at acceptance, picking herself up and holding her head high, despite the dull ache in her heart which she suspected is never going to go away. Loki was part of her past. It was time to accept that he was never coming back, in any way, shape or form.  
It is high summer in London, the weather uncharacteristically hot and humid, and she had missed the tube into the city. She stood on the sidewalk, resigned that she was going to have to take a taxi, and put her hand up as one of the big black cars came trundling down the road. Just as she started to think her luck was finally turning, it veered over to the other side of the road, where a tall man in a blue shirt and glasses stood waiting, messenger bag over his shoulder, flagging down the taxi.  
Jo uttered something between a groan and a scream of frustration, seeing the taxi stealing guy look up. She flipped him off, taking a perverse satisfaction when his jaw dropped open. He leant down, clearly talking to the taxi driver through the window, and then crossed the street, heading straight for her.  
Oh shit.  
Knowing there was no getting away from the probable wrath of the stranger, Jo straightened her back and waited as he stepped onto the curb. Something about his build and his incredibly long legs seemed oddly familiar, but she pushed the thought away, like all the others during the last six months of her life. She gave a fleeting thought to possibly using her powers to “subdue” the stranger, she finally looked up into his eyes.  
All the breath left her lungs in a great big whoosh when her eyes met his. The colour was slightly off, not quite green, more a greyish turquoise. But the shape, and the depth there, took her breath away. It was…  
“I’m so terribly sorry, darling, I really didn’t see you trying to get the taxi. Please, go ahead and take it, I’ve got time.” The stranger said, taking her hand, his long elegant fingers folding over hers as he looked at her earnestly.  
“It’s…” Jo started, but words failed her, she could hardly hear for her heart drumming in her ears at a breakneck speed. Looking a bit worried now, the stranger stooped forward slightly, bringing his oh-so-familiar eyes level with hers.  
“Are you alright, darling? Can I get you something?”  
There was concern in his perfectly modulated voice as he took her elbow with his other hand, dropping his bag carelessly to the pavement. Jo tried again.  
“Who… are you?” She finally strung three words together.  
He stood up and smiled broadly, seemingly having decided that she was not in fact in imminent danger of toppling over.  
“My apologies, I’m Tom, Tom Hiddleston.” He extended a hand and in a haze, Jo took it, feeling the warmth radiating from him.  
Jo looked up into his eyes again, knowing already what she was going to see there.  
“It’s you.” She said, so quietly that she wasn’t sure that the stranger, Tom, heard her.  
But still looking into his eyes, she saw his eyes change slightly, so small was the change that anyone else would never have noticed it. The colour of his eyes shifted slightly towards a soft emerald green, and there was a peculiar knowing there, a flash of… recognition. Then it was gone.  
“Umm… yes. It’s me. And I do believe if you have the time, I owe you a cup of coffee to apologise for my rudeness. I’m very good at making coffee, and my house is just across the street.”  
“No, I mean… you came back, it’s you.” Jo, her brain still scrambled by the shock, doggedly insisted, trying to make him understand.  
Tom looked confused; the worry creeping back into is face.  
“I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met before. Maybe you’re confusing me with someone else?”  
Jo realised that if she kept on insisting that he was someone else, she’s going to lose him again. She couldn’t lose him again.  
He stood there looking at her expectantly, and Jo, still in a haze, something new and fresh peeking out of the rawness of her soul, nodded, feeling a real smile stretch her lips for the first time in months.  
“I do have the time, Mr. Hiddleston, to sample your excellent coffee. Lead the way.”  
He grinned then, and Jo felt the new tiny little seedling of hope in her soul turning towards the sunshine of that grin. His smile truly was like the morning sun, and she knew. She knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt.  
Still smiling, Jo followed him back across the road, her hand slipping into his and fitting perfectly, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. 

~END~


End file.
